Isn't the issue not so much whether gender is a filter for *your* interactions with others, as whether gender is a filter for their interactions with you/others (both men & women)?

I should note here that I do think that there's a bunch of gender-based expectations/beliefs/cognitive structures/etc that aren't necessarily conscious. The extent to which any particular individual holds any particular set of those does of course vary.

Layering of filters can also mean that you wind up at the stage of "Well, of course *you're* not like [group stereotype], because *you're* [other group/group stereotype]". Which may be fine for the individual being spoken to, but isn't great for A. N. Other member of [group stereotype] who still has a set of the speaker's expectations/beliefs to overcome. e.g. I know of women who've been at tech conferences & had men speak to them explicitly stating the assumption that they were there with a boyfriend. There's a fair chance those men also knew women of whom they wouldn't have made that assumption; but that's not much help for the one they're speaking to at that point.