There's no way of writing about manners that doesn't end up sounding pompous and more than just a little bit ridiculous; and rightly so, I'm telling people how to behave and that's actually rather rude.

Be that as it may, our family weddings in Ireland have followed two patterns: the men's weddings, in which the bride's family paid for ceremonies that packed out cathedral-like parish churches - and they still got backchat from those who didn't attend the breakfast; and the women's, in which we used the family's regular place of worship - a tiny chapel on traditional family land that is used by the village and is a deaconry of the parish - and threw modest wedding breakfasts and receptions - and we got no grief at all, it's 'a small wedding' and no more was said despite the popular perception in the county that our family is loaded.