Three questions of etiquette

[j4]

1. Is there any non-offensive way to say to people (who have misinterpreted our probably-confusing invitations-and-website nonsense and RSVPd to say they will be pleased to come to the wedding) "I'm sorry but the invite was only to the reception (because the actual wedding is v small)"? I just feel as though any way of saying it feels really horrible but we honestly can't fit everybody in. :-(

2. Is it even worse to ask this on my LJ where a) inevitably some people reading this will not have been invited to either (all other things being equal, this would still be a world-readable journal and the venue would still be finite) and b) everybody will think "oh noes are they talking about me?".

3. Might it be better to just shoot myself now?

Comments

[j4.livejournal.com]

Modulo constraints on space, I'm not sure what people's reasons are for inviting someone to the reception but not the wedding.

It really is just space! There is far more choice of venues-where-you-can-have-a-party than there is of venues-licensed-for-marriage, and the latter cost a lot to hire, and the bigger the venue, the greater the cost (obviously). Even the smallish room at the registry office is not cheap (well I don't think it's cheap but then I don't really know what I'd expect) on a Saturday. If money (and hence space) was no object, we'd be very happy for everybody who wants to be there to come along. (Okay, there are one or two people who I wouldn't exactly be happy for them to be there, but if space wasn't an issue then I wouldn't stop them coming along.)

And yes, if we were getting married in a church then there'd probably be room for a gazillion people; no idea what it costs (if anything -- can you charge people to go to church?). I would have been willing (albeit with some reservations) to get married in church; Owen is a staunch atheist and (entirely reasonably) wasn't prepared to compromise on that.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I don't think you can charge for use of a church like that. I think there's a flat wedding fee, which is the same regardless of the size of the venue.

Then again, having never organised a wedding, I may be talking through my hat.