I find the questions "Are you telling me that I can't do what I want because I'm a woman?" helps.

Nice. I've never thought of that one.

Also, j4, I like your post. And I'm very glad that there are perfectly sensible people on the internet who don't have complete feminist strategies and attitudes and policies all worked out and who don't appear to be anti-women in any way. I, like you, work in male-dominated industry in an otherwise all-male office and, y'know, just don't really think about it that much.