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Meet the new dream
Last night I had a variant on the "late for work" anxiety dream, a more specific one in which I was late for the meeting I was supposed to be going to this morning. In the dream I'd got into work on time for the 9:30 meeting but then got caught up in doing other stuff, only realised at about 10:30. Then I remembered I had to make a phone call first, but none of us could remember the surname of the person we had to call, so I couldn't look them up in the departmental phone list. Eventually I and the people I was meeting with headed downstairs towards the meeting rooms, only to find that they'd all been extended and moved around, and some of them were being used as some sort of Christmas display (there was a Christmas tree and some fake presents, and there were lots of people milling around) and I couldn't even find the meeting room we'd booked. In the end I found a room which was apparently the room we'd booked, but it looked completely different -- more like a common-room than a meeting-room -- and there a few people sitting in it. By this point one of the people I was supposed to be meeting with had wandered off & I couldn't get in touch with him on his mobile because there's no mobile reception downstairs in the meeting rooms (it's true about that mobile reception!). I and the remaining person were debating whether we should have the meeting anyway despite the other people hanging around, when I woke up.
In practice (back in the real awake world) I got into work on time, quickly wrote up the notes I'd made last night into a more readable form from which I could refer to them in the meeting, checked my email, went to the meeting, and had a constructive 2 hours (!) discussing my job, my role on the team, where I want to go, what I want to learn, how we can make the team better, etc. with my two new line-managers (I haven't moved role, we've just had a bit of a middle-management reshuffle, & they are enthusiastically and laudably being very proactive about taking responsibility for the team and setting its direction rather than just letting us all keep drifting). Anyway, I came out of the meeting with useful specific short-term goals and a better picture of some possible longer-term goals and directions (as well as some helpful input into the decisions about maternity leave and coming back afterwards). The notes I'd made were useful, and I managed to mention everything on them. Over all I ended up feeling much more positive about work than I have done for a while.
The silly thing is, it's not even as if the anxiety dreams spur me to do better; I'd already done the prep for the meeting last night (over a bagel and a large hot chocolate in G&Ds, between work and choir) because I knew I'd get more out of the meeting if I was prepared for it. The dreams just make me feel fuzzy-headed in the morning (fortunately the freezing cold cycle ride in helped with that) and worried about things where I don't need to worry.
Now to deal with all the things I do need to worry about.
In practice (back in the real awake world) I got into work on time, quickly wrote up the notes I'd made last night into a more readable form from which I could refer to them in the meeting, checked my email, went to the meeting, and had a constructive 2 hours (!) discussing my job, my role on the team, where I want to go, what I want to learn, how we can make the team better, etc. with my two new line-managers (I haven't moved role, we've just had a bit of a middle-management reshuffle, & they are enthusiastically and laudably being very proactive about taking responsibility for the team and setting its direction rather than just letting us all keep drifting). Anyway, I came out of the meeting with useful specific short-term goals and a better picture of some possible longer-term goals and directions (as well as some helpful input into the decisions about maternity leave and coming back afterwards). The notes I'd made were useful, and I managed to mention everything on them. Over all I ended up feeling much more positive about work than I have done for a while.
The silly thing is, it's not even as if the anxiety dreams spur me to do better; I'd already done the prep for the meeting last night (over a bagel and a large hot chocolate in G&Ds, between work and choir) because I knew I'd get more out of the meeting if I was prepared for it. The dreams just make me feel fuzzy-headed in the morning (fortunately the freezing cold cycle ride in helped with that) and worried about things where I don't need to worry.
Now to deal with all the things I do need to worry about.