Three questions of etiquette

[j4]

1. Is there any non-offensive way to say to people (who have misinterpreted our probably-confusing invitations-and-website nonsense and RSVPd to say they will be pleased to come to the wedding) "I'm sorry but the invite was only to the reception (because the actual wedding is v small)"? I just feel as though any way of saying it feels really horrible but we honestly can't fit everybody in. :-(

2. Is it even worse to ask this on my LJ where a) inevitably some people reading this will not have been invited to either (all other things being equal, this would still be a world-readable journal and the venue would still be finite) and b) everybody will think "oh noes are they talking about me?".

3. Might it be better to just shoot myself now?

Comments

[braisedbywolves.livejournal.com]

I imagine that the reasons are that it's not 40 years ago, and inviting someone to the wedding but not the reception would be appalingly rude.

[nja.livejournal.com]

I've been to "three tier" dos - wedding ceremony, wedding breakfast (why breakfast?), evening informal party. It's not unusual in my experience for people to be invited to the first and third, but for there not to be enough places (i.e. not enough of a catering budget) for everyone to attend the second.

I may be wrong, but I think at least in churches and registry offices, any member of the public is entitled to turn up to a wedding, invited or not. ( And other venues apparently - see this (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2005/feb/21/monarchy.claredyer)).

[j4.livejournal.com]

(why breakfast?)

Because you'd've been fasting before the wedding, and you're breaking your fast. HTH HAND HORSE.

I think weddings used to tend to be earlier, too. I didn't want to get married in the morning because I think it's technically illegal to get married while asleep.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd see it like that - some friends of mine recently married in a huge church and, knowing the congregation, invited anyone around to come to the actual ceremony. I don't believe that anyone regarded that as rude.

Besides, just saying "it's rude" doesn't really explain why it has come to be regarded as such, which was what I would be interested in.