House!
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I say "as far as we can tell" because it's entirely possible that the keys are lost/buried under the skipload of junk that the seller and tenants have kindly left us. Books, clothes, furniture, bottles of vodka, a broken bong... basically all the cupboards are still full of crap. Ugh.
So, as twittered, we're going to be there on Sunday afternoon clearing stuff out. It's not exactly a party, but if anybody's at a loose end and feels like helping us sort things into piles ("recycling", "bin", "what the holy fvck is this" etc) then they will be very welcome & we will reward them with beer and/or cake (or equivalent local currency). Also, you'll be welcome to take any of the junk if you want! (I'm not promising some kind of treasure-trove here, but, y'know, books is books.)
If you're planning to take up this generous offer :-) please email/txt one of us for the address.
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(Owen mailed me the address.)
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Alas, I have only just read this, and it's too late to trundle over from London.
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You're not liable for any of the bills and summons that are lying about are you? I'd hate for debt collector/baliff people to turn up on the doorstep expecting payment/confiscation of property..
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Also, the only things currently in the house are things which we would be only too glad for someone to steal. :-} If you know any burglars (or anybody at all) who want 20 ashtrays and a broken PlayStation 1, I'd be keen to get in touch with them.
And I think any self-respecting squatters would reject the place as being just too squalid!