I'm certainly not asking you to stop talking about things as you see them. But if you talk about things in public, you invite public reply; and, particularly, if you vent public spleen then you only have one person to blame if other people choose to exercise their right to vent their frustrations in reply. "Freedom of speech" is a double-edged sword, as well you know.
For the record, I wasn't particularly impressed with your response to my post about me and Ellie, but I originally thought it was just a joke that I happened not to find very funny, and accordingly made a noncommittal response. I later learned that it was actually intended to upset me, to pay me back for daring to speak about a brief moment of happiness in public. If (as I believe you do) you have a right to use LiveJournal as an outlet for your bitterness, then surely I have an equal right to use it as an outlet for my happiness? Once again the double-edged sword bites the hand who wields it. (Although, of course, you have just as much right to comment... and so the game continues, an endless war of rights and retributions.)
Ironically, if you'd simply told me that it was upsetting you to see me being happy, I would have made an effort to hide those feelings from you. I never set out to upset you by posting what I did -- I'm afraid I assumed that since you were in at least two apparently-happy relationships you were unlikely to still be bitter about one brief unsuccessful one. If you'd asked me to stop posting romantic nonsense I would have tried to do so, at least for a while, and it could have been a private issue between adults; you were the one who took the decision to drag it all into the public view by behaving like a petulant teenager in a public forum, and I (for better or for worse) am not sufficiently meek to just lie down and let myself be attacked like that -- experience has taught me that this only invites the bullies to continue. By carrying on this oh-so-genteel "discussion" in public I'm merely respecting your choice of arena.
(Incidentally, I don't think our respective writing careers are of much relevance here, but if you really want to make an issue of it then I'm sure we can trade backlists some time.)
Having said all that ... I really don't want to end up upsetting my partners and my friends by continuing this pathetic high-school-style feud any further. (Since some of them are also your partners and your friends, you might also want to consider how all this is going to affect them.) You've had your say, I've had mine, we've both pulled each other's pigtails and slung enough mud to keep the porcine population happy for a week. You're under no obligation to read my livejournal, and I'm under no obligation to read yours. You know where the off-switch is as well as I do; may I suggest that we both use it until (or unless) we can reach a point where we can co-exist civilly.
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Date: 2002-11-24 06:55 am (UTC)For the record, I wasn't particularly impressed with your response to my post about me and Ellie, but I originally thought it was just a joke that I happened not to find very funny, and accordingly made a noncommittal response. I later learned that it was actually intended to upset me, to pay me back for daring to speak about a brief moment of happiness in public. If (as I believe you do) you have a right to use LiveJournal as an outlet for your bitterness, then surely I have an equal right to use it as an outlet for my happiness? Once again the double-edged sword bites the hand who wields it. (Although, of course, you have just as much right to comment... and so the game continues, an endless war of rights and retributions.)
Ironically, if you'd simply told me that it was upsetting you to see me being happy, I would have made an effort to hide those feelings from you. I never set out to upset you by posting what I did -- I'm afraid I assumed that since you were in at least two apparently-happy relationships you were unlikely to still be bitter about one brief unsuccessful one. If you'd asked me to stop posting romantic nonsense I would have tried to do so, at least for a while, and it could have been a private issue between adults; you were the one who took the decision to drag it all into the public view by behaving like a petulant teenager in a public forum, and I (for better or for worse) am not sufficiently meek to just lie down and let myself be attacked like that -- experience has taught me that this only invites the bullies to continue. By carrying on this oh-so-genteel "discussion" in public I'm merely respecting your choice of arena.
(Incidentally, I don't think our respective writing careers are of much relevance here, but if you really want to make an issue of it then I'm sure we can trade backlists some time.)
Having said all that ... I really don't want to end up upsetting my partners and my friends by continuing this pathetic high-school-style feud any further. (Since some of them are also your partners and your friends, you might also want to consider how all this is going to affect them.) You've had your say, I've had mine, we've both pulled each other's pigtails and slung enough mud to keep the porcine population happy for a week. You're under no obligation to read my livejournal, and I'm under no obligation to read yours. You know where the off-switch is as well as I do; may I suggest that we both use it until (or unless) we can reach a point where we can co-exist civilly.