"If it is a good morning. Which I doubt."

Blah blah blah mornings, standard whinge; something witty along the lines of if-God-had-wanted-us-to-have-mornings; tedious ramble about caffeine, "I'm not an addict, I just"; obligatory song-lyric quote or oblique literary reference; all followed by a painfully earnest analysis of my sleeping habits.

Some amateurish observational comedy about how slowly the morning goes, and how irritating work-colleagues are; a couple of bitchy remarks about said colleagues' technical incompetence.

And that's me set up for the rest of the day.