There are no stupid questions, only stupid people

My bosses are both away, one until Thursday, the other until next Thursday; basically this means I'm left holding the fort (or rather, the baby). So far today and yesterday I have had:

• Two requests to do some work that boss #2 said she'd do two weeks ago.
• A request to update a colour image with the attached document (a Word file).
• A request to do, by Friday, a major revision of an area of the site which I've never seen before ...
• ... and which is on a server that we don't even own.
• Two requests to "just change a couple of words" in PDF documents.
• About 15 requests to make edits which, to paraphrase the sense of urgency conveyed, need to go live by yesterday if not sooner otherwise the University will explode and EVERYONE WILL DIE.
• One request from our Press department as to why a demo page in somebody's personal webspace on an internal server behind the university firewall can't be seen by people browsing from outside the university ...
• ... for example, by the hundreds of people to whom the URL for said page has just been emailed.

*headdesk*