Junk in the box

Before I start rambling about SPAM, thanks to everybody who's given me such useful answers to my questions about databases -- especially rysmiel who sent some really detailed information about actual real databases in the wild, and Lou who pointed me in the direction of lots of interesting reading-matter (much of which he wrote). I haven't really had time to digest it all yet (that's "digest" in the sense of "assimilate and extract useful stuff from", not in the sense of "bundle into one long email which can be shelved as a whole rather than accruing a little bit of guilt for each individual component") but I'm slowly chewing my way through things.

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Today I got a spam with the subject line "September". I was hungoverly thinking about time-management so I absent-mindedly read it, and it took me two reads to realise it wasn't a plan or a horoscope:

Second month you will notice an increase in size of up to 1 inches, plus an increase in Girth (Width) of 5%, plus all the benefits of the first month.

An increase in size of up to 1 inches? Could that tall dark stranger be a grande mocha latte with chocolate on top?

But that's not the spam I intended to write about when I thought 'oh yes I should write about this' like two months ago. ( spam, spam, spam, spam )