Road of nonsense

[j4]

Petition the PM:

[ ] Scrap the planned vehicle tracking and road pricing policy

[ ] No! Don't scrap the planned vehicle tracking and road pricing policy.

[ ] In fact, increase the proposed vehicle tracking tax and road tax.

[ ] A vehicle tracking and road pricing policy killed my sister, you insensitive clod!

Not sure what you do if you think the pricing is good but the tracking is bad. Start your own petition, I suppose.

All the one-signature petitions make interesting reading, though. I think my favourite so far is "Bring suger filled vending machines back"; a one-line world of sadness, there.

Comments

[juggzy.livejournal.com]

I want to start a petition, now.

But on what?

[j4.livejournal.com]

I think we should petition the PM to snog David Cameron on live television, to show his support for teh ghey.

Or is that just me?

GIC

[emperor]

I'd never considered BTB as an STD before. Is the cow in that picture a furry or something? :-)

Re: GIC

[j4.livejournal.com]

The cow's relationship with the badger is a private matter between the cow and the badger. They were definitely seen at B-Movie together, though.

[juggzy.livejournal.com]

Not My Kink. But you go for it, I'll support you.

I think we should petition to have Worf and Seven given homes at Number Ten.

[j4.livejournal.com]

What have Worf & Seven done to deserve that??

[j4.livejournal.com]

Also, no, Blair is not my kink, really, it's just a gimmick, y'know, but actually I think I might have a crush on Cameron.

[juggzy.livejournal.com]

NO! Wrongness.

: You up for some collaborative writing of Cameron/Vaizey slash? I'll start.

[j4.livejournal.com]

WORLD. OF. WRONG.

(Yes please!)

[juggzy.livejournal.com]

Started. Your go.

(I'll add a continuation link in when you post yours)

[nja.livejournal.com]

Petition the Prime Minister to have people killed if they put apostrophe's in the wrong place in their online petition's.

Or piss off John Read (http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/Martial-Arts/) by petitioning for access to the UK Coaching Certificate to be given to anyone who has seen a Bruce Lee film.

[ewtikins.livejournal.com]

I think my favourite so far is "Bring suger filled vending machines back"; a one-line world of sadness, there.

That could be a six-word story...

[ex-humanfema327.livejournal.com]

Wow, those one-signature ones are fascinating. You could ask for anything couldn't you. I'm almost tempted to start one asking for a free kiwi fruit per day for each person in east london.

did you sign the one asking to change the national anthem to spandau ballet's Gold?

[j4.livejournal.com]

I love "Gold", but it's a bit hard to sing along with, though, innit, I mean, as a massed-voices kind of thing. Can you imagine everybody managing to get the "You're-in-de-STRUCTabahhh-ull" bit in time, eh?

Do you think signing the silly petitions devalues your signature on the sensible ones, kind of thing? I reckon Blair just throws them all in the bin, frankly. I mean, it doesn't say anywhere "GUARANTEED to be read by teh PM". And even if it did, really, well.

[ex-humanfema327.livejournal.com]

but Gold would be really nice in church! with the echoing , everything feels a bit out of time anyway. Did you sign it? Do you think it's googleable, so potential employers will be all..oh, she REALLY likes spandau ballet. on the page of the most-signed petitions is one about not making possession of violent porn illegal. Imagine if you signed that (er, i didnt) and then your mum found it.

Scrap the kiwi fruit idea, i think each resident of east london should be given a baby monkey.

[j4.livejournal.com]

I haven't signed the Gold one yet. Still not convinced. What if yr potential employers hate Spandau Ballet but like violent porn?? (I haven't signed that one either.)

The Clockwork Orange is coming true

[(Anonymous)]

The best one-sig petition has to be this one:

"stop staging news events to guide the implementation of government policy and guide social control to levels only yet realised in Orwells 1984."

Although the guy who complained about people taking Rounbabouts one-handed comes a close second.

Welcome to Blair's Britian.

[monkeyhands, distracted from one-handed recipe-copying]

[camellia-uk.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing you've probably seen this, but in case you haven't...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/6354103.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/6354103.stm)

(warning: includes references to petitions, custard and BADGERS)

[angoel.livejournal.com]

This assumes that we're not currently being tracked, which given the increase in cameras and computing power, is not an entirely safe notion.

[beingjdc.livejournal.com]

We're being fairly incompetently tracked at the point of entry and exit to some towns and cities. Only really gets used at the moment to scan by registration number and bleep the police if a car reported stolen goes through. It's massively increased your chances of getting your car back if it's stolen by a casual criminal and you find out quickly, but that's about it. A bit more tie-in to crushing the remarkable number of uninsured cars driven by people who've never had lessons would be a big improvement.

On the substantive, no need to increase road tax, it's only useful as it forces people to report that they own a car, so we can check that they also have insurance and that it's roadworthy and so on. Road pricing though, yes please. A much more flexible policy than charging for the petrol, enables us to bring our freight charges down to a level where a chunk of the country isn't put out of busines by the continent via tax competition, and to make it cheaper to drive routes where we accept that there's no public transport, vs. making it more expensive to drive where there are alternatives and where there is a major congestion problem.