The weirdest thing, though, is outrage on my behalf by other people. "They shouldn't be allowed to say Things Like That to you!" "But I'm not remotely offended. I think it's fucking hilarious." "Well you should be offended!" "Why?" "...."
From my perspective there are two points to this. One in the more formal HR-professional angle, and is a "what if". It's fine if everyone currently involved in the banter is happy with it, but what if someone joined the team who was not comfortable with the level of joking. Would there be a way of that person to raise their disconfort (without, of course, being uncomfortable about raising that discomfort) or would they be expected to tolerate it? That is, is the enjoyment and engagement in such banter a "required qualification"?
Secondly is it possible that the people being outraged on your behalf may be making the assumption that part of the (c)rudity is a selection of joke about birds, babes, girlies or whatever generic tern of the week for objectified women and if that kind of banter is happening then then people around you are seeing you less as a person and more as an object. Perhaps this explains their defensiveness?
Then again, the last piece of sexism in the workplace I experienced was when I nearly got volunteered for a somewhat complex context-switching job because since I'm female of course I can multi-task better than the rest of my colleagues.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-16 01:56 am (UTC)From my perspective there are two points to this. One in the more formal HR-professional angle, and is a "what if". It's fine if everyone currently involved in the banter is happy with it, but what if someone joined the team who was not comfortable with the level of joking. Would there be a way of that person to raise their disconfort (without, of course, being uncomfortable about raising that discomfort) or would they be expected to tolerate it? That is, is the enjoyment and engagement in such banter a "required qualification"?
Secondly is it possible that the people being outraged on your behalf may be making the assumption that part of the (c)rudity is a selection of joke about birds, babes, girlies or whatever generic tern of the week for objectified women and if that kind of banter is happening then then people around you are seeing you less as a person and more as an object. Perhaps this explains their defensiveness?
Then again, the last piece of sexism in the workplace I experienced was when I nearly got volunteered for a somewhat complex context-switching job because since I'm female of course I can multi-task better than the rest of my colleagues.