j4 | Looking back over my shoulder (Reply)

I haven't posted here for years, I haven't done a 'year in review' for years, it's already nearly halfway through this year, I can't remember how to write anything any more, I don't even know if anybody reads this, but here we go:

1. What did you do in 2023 that you'd never done before?

Learned to play melodeon! Got absolutely obsessed with it! MORE ABOUT THIS LATER

Took a cat to the vet (for her routine vaccinations). At the end of 2022 I got adopted by a cat, and after some months of being Not My Cat (Who Nonetheless Kind Of Lives In My House) she has now permanently moved in and become My Cat (insofar as anybody has any kind of claim on a cat). Yes, you can take a cat to the vet in a cargo bike (& she seemed fairly chilled about it, sitting in her box & watching the world go by).

Went to Morecambe! (It was great!)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I mean, I definitely made some, but I honestly don't remember what they were and I can't find them written down anywhere so ... at least I can't categorically say that I failed, right? I made some for this year (mostly more aims than resolutions) but have already forgotten half of them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Technically no, not really, because the people I was close(-ish) to were not the ones who did the actual giving birth, but I'm going to interpret this as a more vague "did any of your friends bring new babies into their families", so:

Two of the lovely people from the Bastard English folk session (my absolute must-not-miss monthly session) had babies, which is both a thing of joy and (if I'm honest) a thing of "argh they might not be able to come to as many sessions now".

Lovely A. had a baby with their new partner; both parents & their other child seem well and happy, & new baby seems like an excellent baby, so that's all good.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, but we did finally scatter my grandma's ashes (she died in 2020).

5. What countries did you visit?

Wales. And I should go there again, because I know at least 2 lovely people who live there.

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?

More time. More space.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Do you mean like a calendar date or like a date date? There were some nice ones of the latter, but I couldn't can't pin any of them down to an actual calendar date.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

My two biggest very different achievements were:

Learning to play the melodeon! (Or more properly the diatonic button accordion, pedants.) A friend lent me one in March 2023 and I bought my own a few weeks later, and I've never learned an instrument so quickly or fallen in love with it so much. And I can now play it well enough to hold my own in sessions, and play along with things I don't already know.

Actually Sorting Out The Mortgage! I FINALLY managed to force myself to jump through all the high-stress administrative hoops of finding a solicitor, talking to a bank, Thinking About Money oh god argh argh, and now have FINALLY FINALLY managed to buy my ex out of the mortgage and it is now solely in my name. This has been a big Admin Guilt Thing on my list for 2 years and now it is DONE.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't think there was one single big failure, but all the ongoing failures (failing to sort out all the STUFF in the house; failing to be any good at my job; failing at all sorts of bits of parenting) have persisted.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had a cough that lasted for about 2 months (not covid, or at least I repeatedly tested negative), and I kept trying to get back to Doing Things and getting wiped out again by it, because I am an idiot (but also because a lot of Life Stuff just can't really be put on hold for 2 months, particularly e.g. work and parenting).

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A melodeon! And then ... another melodeon (in a different key).

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

All my friends in Bollard Club (not a real club, just a loose association of active travel enthusiasts) who have fought tirelessly for safer streets, better public spaces and facilities, and less confrontational politics, while mostly remaining much more good-humoured and optimistic and constructive about things than I often manage to.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Too many Tory politicians to count. Also, increasingly, Labour politicians. Transphobes on the internet. Climate-deniers and anti-vaxxers on the internet. Anti-cycling arseholes on the internet. People who vandalised road safety infrastructure. Ugh, all sorts of things, I should not read things on the internet, and maybe also should not go outside

14. Where did most of your money go?

Melodeons were the biggest single purchases but I suspect if I actually tracked my spending properly (aha! I just remembered what one of my previous new year's resolutions was!) then most of my money would turn out to have gone on food, beer, and bits and pieces of unnecessary nonsense that never seem to cost very much but turn out to add up to a lot of money.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Melodeons! And folk music in general.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?

I don't really tie songs to years like that any more because my sense of medium- to long-term time is so nebulous and syrupy these days, like a thing that was "a few weeks ago" will turn out to be 6 months ago.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:...

happier or sadder? About the same, but more tired.

thinner or fatter? About the same, but less fit.

richer or poorer? Richer, due to help from parents.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Spending time with friends. Spending time with my parents. Music. Sleeping (but somehow without losing any time for doing all the other things).

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Work. Arguing with people on the internet. Arguing in my head with people who aren't even real. Trying to work around other people's bullshit. Waiting for other people to get back to me about things they clearly don't care about as much as I do. Investing time and emotional energy in people who will never care about me as much as I care about them.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent Christmas with my parents (as I have done every year except the year that lockdown prevented it) and my kids. This Christmas the kids want to go to their other grandparent so I guess I'll either be visiting my parents on my own, or staying here on my own.

21. Did you fall in love in 2023?

Only with the melodeon. :D

22. How many one-night stands?

None.

23. What was your favorite TV programme?

I don't really watch TV but I did finish re-watching "Mysterious Cities of Gold" with the kids. It is still excellent! And completely bonkers!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I wouldn't exactly say I really hate anyone (though I hate a lot of the things public figures are doing and it's hard to separate that out from 'hating them' when I don't know them in any context apart from their public actions). However I did make a decision to step away from one mostly-internet-based friendship because the person in question had become horribly transphobic on twitter (though had never expressed any of those views to me in person). Basically they went from being an apparently very civilised and charming contrarian and libertarian, with whom I could have interesting and thought-provoking debate, to going right down the anti-'wokery'/reality-denier rabbit-hole and sharing/endorsing some horrible things; I'm still angry with them.

25. What was the best book you read?

Here is what I read last year! I think my best new discovery was T. Kingfisher, and I'm not going to pick out one of her books above the others because they were all excellent.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

OK OK I'm not just going to say "melodeons" this time :-) instead I am going to take this opportunity to recommend my friend Josh Wroxton, who writes catchy, witty, bittersweet songs that aren't all about failed relationships. Not that I exactly 'discovered' him in 2023 but he has finally started releasing his songs as things I can point people at on Soundcloud or Spotify.

27. What did you want and get?

Proper wooden bollards in our LTNs so we didn't have to keep rescuing the rubbish bendy ones when idiots stole them, chucked them into bins, etc. (Though the bollard-rescuing was kind of fun.)

28. What did you want and not get?

More time. More space. Less admin. A job that doesn't make me miserable.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?

Look, I hardly ever watch new films, but I watched THREE last year, which is probably a record for me over the last 20 years, and I liked them all:

"Barbie", which was great on many levels, funny and thought-provoking and had an excellent soundtrack, I'm really glad Elder Child made me go and see it

"Indiana Jones and the ~~Absolutely Lastest Crusade~~ Dials of Destiny", which was absolute end-to-end nonsense (plus punching Nazis) but THAT IS WHAT YOU GO TO SEE INDIANA JONES FILMS FOR, great fun, 10/10

"In the Court of the Crimson King: King Crimson at 50", which I would never have thought of going to see but friends were going and actually it was great, not the 'rockumentary' I expected, more a short story about what music means to people

If you count old films, I really enjoyed watching "Calamity Jane" and "The Sound of Music" with Elder Child, who appreciated them both in ALL THE RIGHT WAYS.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went to the Bastard English folk session because it happened to fall on my birthday, and added an extra verse to "Hail, hail, the first of May":

"44 has gone and past-o,
45 has come so fast-o,
Another year has flown away
So buy me a drink because it's my birthday
Hail, hail, the FIFTH of May (etc)"

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not having to work?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?

I don't have a personal fashion concept but I have a very shiny coat that cheers people up.

33. What kept you sane?

I mean, that kind of begs the question, doesn't it.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

urgh what no

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Climate change, trans rights, active travel, education, GRAHHH EVERYTHING WHY IS EVERYTHING SUCH A MESS

36. Who did you miss?

All the friends who I haven't managed to see at all for ages, particularly the Cambridge crowd.

And the friends I'll never see again, still.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

I can't think of anyone who I met for the first time in 2023 but I've managed to have more actual conversations with some of the folk session people (rather than just shouting "WHAT'S THAT TUNE CALLED?" over the music and not being able to hear the answer) and they're all lovely.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023

Can't think of anything so I'll share my favourite bit of child-rearing advice (still being useful to me after 13 years): "don't worry, it gets different".

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

"I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now" (I mean let's be honest that sums up the last 10 years or so, I don't really think in "years" any more because it's all just one long fog)

40. Did you enjoy this year?