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j4I don't need to know, but I'm interested to know:
What (if anything) do people regard as essential for a successful relationship?
(I'm thinking more in the general sense than the personal -- I'm not really interested to know whether individual people couldn't possibly have a relationship with somebody who worked for Microsoft, or whether they need somebody who will accept and indulge their Swarfega fetish.)
Or do you think relationships are so individual that they're impossible to generalise about?
(20 marks.)
Further questions:
Do you think there's a (moral?) judgement implicit in a suggestion that anything is "essential" for a successful relationship? By stating the question in those terms, are we imposing our own definition of "success" on other people? (I'm assuming a broad context of Western culture; at the moment I'm not really interested in hearing, say, how the Mgosh tribe regard a "successful" relationship as one where the female bears twenty children and then eats her mate.) Or do questions like this merely make us disappear rapidly up our own solipsistic arses?
(40 marks.)
Note: You may define "relationship" as broadly as you wish, but please make your working definition explicit. Do not attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once.
What (if anything) do people regard as essential for a successful relationship?
(I'm thinking more in the general sense than the personal -- I'm not really interested to know whether individual people couldn't possibly have a relationship with somebody who worked for Microsoft, or whether they need somebody who will accept and indulge their Swarfega fetish.)
Or do you think relationships are so individual that they're impossible to generalise about?
(20 marks.)
Further questions:
Do you think there's a (moral?) judgement implicit in a suggestion that anything is "essential" for a successful relationship? By stating the question in those terms, are we imposing our own definition of "success" on other people? (I'm assuming a broad context of Western culture; at the moment I'm not really interested in hearing, say, how the Mgosh tribe regard a "successful" relationship as one where the female bears twenty children and then eats her mate.) Or do questions like this merely make us disappear rapidly up our own solipsistic arses?
(40 marks.)
Note: You may define "relationship" as broadly as you wish, but please make your working definition explicit. Do not attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once.
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Re: long response (part II)
Date: 2004-02-19 07:12 am (UTC)I am myself, but not to my full potential. I'm not the best "myself" that I can be. I never will be -- there's always room for improvement!
Do you mean improving your already good or characteristic tendencies? Or do you mean learning to ignore other people's influences on you?
Improving myself as a person, yes (though here we will probably run into disagreement about what makes a 'good' person). Not "learning to ignore other people's influences" because I don't think it's possible or even advisable to ignore other people's influences; but learning to be aware of those influences, learning to be conscious of how things influence us, and how to consciously decide whether to follow other people's advice/influences/etc. or whether to forge our own path, rather than just following others blindly. Learning to live and act and think with integrity; to be true to what you believe in.
Does that make any more sense?
I believe that everything is not in vain, that some ultimate good can come out of it, that I'm not a failure because my worth is not tied to success
Me too. Glad we agree on that, at least!