Creepy people
Mar. 1st, 2004 09:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j4Okay, now, I'm used to people indulging in flirtatious (and at times obscene) banter on newsgroups. I don't mind people making comments about bits of my body, items of my underwear, and so on, particularly if those comments are funny. If the wordplay's good, anything goes.
But there's one person on uk.misc who is pissing me off. He's clearly only about 18 so I suppose he'll grow out of it, but he's made a couple of comments about removing my knickers and "rummaging around in my bra" which just make me feel really uncomfortable. I think if I got on with him in other threads -- if I felt he was a friend, or at least a generally decent person -- then I wouldn't object, though I still wouldn't think he was being particularly funny. But he's certainly not a friend (I've already got into one argument with him about cars -- he believes cars should be as fast as possible; he believes that he should be allowed to pay only one lot of road tax for 2 cars; he also believes that the size/power of the car has no effect on the cost of insurance) and when he's not shouting about how big his cock^H^H^H^Hcar is, he's quoting 20-page posts and only adding "ROTFPMSL!!!!" at the end. In other words, he's a wanker.
The problem is, I don't feel I can object on the group (and I certainly don't feel I can respond the way I want to, i.e. something along the lines of "fuck off, you top-posting wankfisted teenage sleazemonkey") without everybody else calling me a hypocrite, and/or telling me that if I can't take the good-natured banter I should get out of the group.
I don't like killfiling individuals but I suspect it's the only thing to do; but it makes me feel as though I've failed -- I don't want to react to something so stupid, something that basically amounts to a small boy sniggering at rude words. But I still feel uncomfortable with it.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
But there's one person on uk.misc who is pissing me off. He's clearly only about 18 so I suppose he'll grow out of it, but he's made a couple of comments about removing my knickers and "rummaging around in my bra" which just make me feel really uncomfortable. I think if I got on with him in other threads -- if I felt he was a friend, or at least a generally decent person -- then I wouldn't object, though I still wouldn't think he was being particularly funny. But he's certainly not a friend (I've already got into one argument with him about cars -- he believes cars should be as fast as possible; he believes that he should be allowed to pay only one lot of road tax for 2 cars; he also believes that the size/power of the car has no effect on the cost of insurance) and when he's not shouting about how big his cock^H^H^H^Hcar is, he's quoting 20-page posts and only adding "ROTFPMSL!!!!" at the end. In other words, he's a wanker.
The problem is, I don't feel I can object on the group (and I certainly don't feel I can respond the way I want to, i.e. something along the lines of "fuck off, you top-posting wankfisted teenage sleazemonkey") without everybody else calling me a hypocrite, and/or telling me that if I can't take the good-natured banter I should get out of the group.
I don't like killfiling individuals but I suspect it's the only thing to do; but it makes me feel as though I've failed -- I don't want to react to something so stupid, something that basically amounts to a small boy sniggering at rude words. But I still feel uncomfortable with it.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-01 03:26 am (UTC)YAHugeAICMFP.
I think "P. Hucker" goes well beyond good-natured (or even bad-natured) banter, probably due to extreme social gaucherie and innate sexism rather than intentional malice, but either way I don't want to read him, especially if he's going to do those one-line ROTFPMSL posts, so he's in the killfile. I think he's possibly become confused by the amount of flirtatious stuff in the newsgroup between people who have known each other (online or in real life) for a long while.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-01 04:40 am (UTC)I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've seen a couple of people tell him that he'd fit in just fine if he could only stop top-posting, learn to trim, etc., and I've felt extremely uneasy -- if he fits in "just fine", then I certainly don't fit in at all.
I don't think he's being intentionally malicious, no; I'm more worried that he thinks he's being irresistably funny and sexy, and slowly but surely worming his way into my, er, affections.
As a slight sidetrack, I'm not sure I believe that sexism is ever "innate". I think it's learned, and can be unlearned.
I think he's possibly become confused by the amount of flirtatious stuff in the newsgroup between people who have known each other (online or in real life) for a long while.
Maybe. I never fail to be amazed by the way people do this on usenet, though, and I can't help wondering if they're the same in real life -- I mean, if they fail to notice that people let their friends get away with things that strangers wouldn't get away with, and if they're just as quick in real life to jump in with "affectionate" insults.
To be honest, though, for me it's not even necessarily a question of how long I've known people. There are people I meet (online or IRL) with whom I just 'click'. Some of the miscreants felt like people-I'd-known-for-a-while quite quickly, possibly because misc is quite similar in tone etc. to ox.* (where I idled away most of my undergraduacy).
no subject
Date: 2004-03-01 05:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-02 02:15 am (UTC)I suspect not. The fukts crew call him a troll, so it may very well be he's posting the way he is very deliberately. otoh, _they_ call everybody they disagree with a troll - they seem to think that's the definition. I dunno - I suspect he won't be around long. Some of his stuff has been funny. Some of it's rubbish. Watching brief.