Budge it

[j4]

I don't know what to do about budgeting for food. sion_a and I have been sharing evening meals, and basically he's been paying for pretty much everything, which is clearly unfair; but when I suggested trying to allocate a set amount for food he was unhappy about the idea & said he'd prefer to go back to the way we used to do it -- on a completely ad hoc basis, buying food roughly once a week but often more, and sort of taking turns to pay. I can understand why he wouldn't want to do that -- there's no reason why he should have to go without everything he wants just because I'm skint -- but I don't think I can cope with that kind of system and still claw my finances back to a sensible point.

On the other hand, I have no idea how to budget for feeding just one person, because more or less ever since I've lived out I've been sponging off one boyfriend or another, and cooking for at least two people. Basically I'm just not used to living a single life, but it's about time I learned.

How much do people think is a sensible amount of money to allocate for a week's food (lunches and evening meals) for one?

For ages I've been eating at the pub on Thursdays with the rest of the crowd -- is it stupid to try to build that into a budget? (The pub food isn't expensive, but it's still eating-out rather than eating-in. Last night's meal cost £3.25, and that's not quite the cheapest option.)


So far this week I have spent the following:

£ 1.19   5 avocados and 2 bananas
£ 0.99   1 bag of new potatoes
£ 3.25   meal at the pub
£ 2.40   1 pint of beer
£15.00   karate lesson

The potatoes and avocados between them have made lots of salads for lunches. I feel like I've been reasonably good about money, but the evening meals have mostly been covered by stuff that sion_a's bought, so really I'm just sponging still. :-(

Bank balance is looking more healthy, but there's still £86 owed to a friend to come out of that -- and no, I can't pay back in instalments, I just want to clear the debt in one go -- and money for a birthday present for somebody else. Salary comes through in less than a week now, but I know I mustn't see that as the point when I can start spending money again!

Food tonight is sorted: I'm working a shift at the pub so I'll have my usual sandwich or bowl of chips. And more money! Hurrah.

Comments

[juliet]

I'd agree with those figures - when I was doing my MPhil I was managing to average just under £15/week, but that was pretty damn minimal (buying veg at the market, very rarely buying expensive things like cheese (wasn't vegan then), etc etc. And obviously, being veggie helps ). £20-£25 allows you a little slack for the odd nice thing. I don't think it's at all wrong to build in a cheapish meal at the pub to your budget - if you cut out all the socialising etc you'll just make yourself miserable, & will find it much harder to stick to budget.

I actually found that keeping snacks, eating out etc in the 'entertainment' budget worked better for me, but YMM and obv does V :-)

And seconding the comments about making sure you're eating enough - and healthily, not just sufficient calories. Also about making large quantities of things & freezing - also means that you've got a non-takeout option on evenings when you come in & can't face cooking, or have run out of groceries, or whatever.

With sion_a - the only other option, I guess, would be to suggest that you'd do dinner on certain nights, & he could do them on other nights, but that you'd have to stick to your budget for the nights you cook. Then you avoid sponging (because you're buying half the dinners, and he can choose either to cook at the same financial level on his nights, or spend more and accept that that's his choice), but you're also able to keep your spending in order.

And that budget-so-far does look like you're being pretty successful - yay!

[j4.livejournal.com]

the only other option, I guess, would be to suggest that you'd do dinner on certain nights, & he could do them on other nights, but that you'd have to stick to your budget for the nights you cook.

Well I'd be happy to do that (though it would be harder to budget on a per-week basis if I'm not cooking every night of the week), but he might not agree. And at the moment neither of us cooks, except to the extent of putting filled pasta in boiling water, or putting pizza in the oven.

Then you avoid sponging (because you're buying half the dinners, and he can choose either to cook at the same financial level on his nights, or spend more and accept that that's his choice), but you're also able to keep your spending in order.

I think his choice if I wasn't there at all would be (and was, before I came along and fucked up his life) to live on toast, sometimes with cheese. That's all he eats when I'm not there, anyway.

Budget-so-far -- yeah, I can keep up not-spending-anything for about a week, and then I just get miserable and end up spending money on stuff to make me happy, which usually does make me happy for a short time, until it starts making me guilty about having spent any money. I mean, at the moment I look at the stuff on my desk and think "Shit, I spent a couple of quid on half a badger just so I could have a badger on my desk at work. Argh, I spent over a quid on a box of tissues because it had a pretty pattern on the box and I like having tissues on my desk, when I could have just used work's loo-paper when I needed a tissue. I have a mug which I bought from thinkgeek and probably never paid Sion back for; if I did pay him back then it's a stupid expenditure, if I didn't then it's just sponging again. I have an expensive phone (which admittedly I didn't buy) and I'm paying a stupid tariff on it because I can't face going through all the layers of bureaucratic hell required to change the tariff, and I don't need a mobile phone anyway. I have four boxes of herbal tea which I bought when I didn't really need them because I could just drink water, and as it is I just drink the free coffee at work, despite the fact that it's Nestlé, but they won't switch to Fair Trade because it costs too much.

I just feel like everything around me is sitting there and accusing me. :-(

[juliet]

he might not agree

True. But if you'd rather share meals in some way, as opposed to both individually cooking, then maybe it's worth suggesting? He might choose just to eat toast & cheese, but he might prefer the sociableness of eating together - preferences like that do work differently if there's someone else around (I certainly tend to eat differently when I'm just cooking for me than when I'm cooking for Pete as well). As far as the cooking goes: I think, unfortunately, that's probably the best way to keep your food budget down.

I just feel like everything around me is sitting there and accusing me

Know what you mean :-/ But as people have said elsewhere, it's sensible to set a budget that includes room for the odd frivolity. Because making yourself miserable is counterproductive (& feeling guilty about money already spent even more so). You are doing something productive about your financial situation, which is great, so you need to make sure do it *sensibly*. A bit like losing weight: if you try to do it all at once, then it just goes straight back on again, so sorting things gradually is the way forward.

Working out a budget can also be freeing in a way - because you know that your herbal teabags or whatever *are* covered in your budget, so it's OK to buy them. Or that you've allocated £X per week for spending-money, so it's OK to spend a couple of quid of that on a badger, if that's what you fancy spending it on. If that makes sense?

The other thing to bear in mind is that it *does* become easier as you get into the habit of watching your spending (or possibly out of the habit of spending without thinking about it, whichever way you care to put it). It's not great, but it does become much less depressing with time. [hugs]