Meantime

[j4]

Will write up Folk Festival when I have the programme nearby to jog my memory. In the meantime, here's another exercise in self-itemisation:



Things I agree with in bold. Commentary/ranting below each entry, mostly in an irritated tone of voice (you'll just have to imagine that).

001. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions

For heaven's sake. Is there anybody who would disagree with that statement?

002. I don’t watch much TV these days

Adverts are the only interesting thing left on television.

003. I love olives

But only the black ones. The green ones, I can take or leave, unless they're smothered in garlic/coriander/etc.

004. I love sleeping

At least, from what I remember of it. Every morning for the past few weeks I have woken up at about 6:30, for no apparent reason. I try to go back to sleep (given that I rarely get to sleep before 1am I always need more sleep) but the spell's been broken, all I can manage is a fitful doze into which creep fragments of dreams, and later Radio 2, and finally the need to get up, get dressed. Begin your day.

005. I own lots of books

For values of "lots" including "I can't work out where the shelves stop and the heaps begin".

006. I wear glasses or contact lenses

Tried contact lenses. Couldn't.

007. I love to play video games

Or rather, computer games. I can't even program the video recorder, let alone play with it.

008. I’ve tried marijuana
009. I’ve watched porn movies
010. I have been in a threesome
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship

Hell, I'm the psycho-ex in my current relationship.

012. I believe honesty is usually the best policy

See above.

013. I have acne free skin

Mostly.

014. I like and respect Al Sharpton

Who? Is this a USAnian question?

015. I curse frequently

A pox on your questions.

016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
017. I have a hobby

Several hobbies, in fact.

018. I’ve been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.

What the fuck do either of these mean?

019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
020. I’m really, really smart

Mostly I'm quite scruffy, really.

021. I’ve never broken someone’s bones
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal

I really don't think I do.

023. I hate the rain
024. I’m paranoid at times

I wonder if this question was deliberately targetting me.

025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
026. I need money right now

I don't need more money than I have right now. But if anybody's offering...

027. I love Sushi
028. I talk really, really fast

Sometimes. Usually with too few nouns.

029. I have fresh breath in the morning

Do you know, I've never checked. Anybody who's sniffed my mouth in the morning care to comment?

030. I have semi-long hair
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas
032. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis

It's not very regular. I shave my legs occasionally. Like, when I'm going to wear shorts in public.

035. I have a twin
036. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyes in the past

Fake eyes! Wow! Where can I get some??

037. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.

What is Caller I.D.?

038. I like the way that I look

Well, apart from my fat legs, fat arms, saggy arse, and big nose.

039. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months

Not as far as I can remember, anyway. If I have, they won't have been big lies. More at the "no, of course I don't mind" level than the "no, I'm not married" level. Though of course, the latter wouldn't be a lie for me.

040. I know how to cornrow

I don't even know what it is. Or, wait -- is it that weird hair thing? If so, no. I can't even do a French plait.

041. I am usually pessimistic

I prefer to think of it as realistic.

042. I have a lot of mood swings

Mostly explainable by things like tiredness, too much caffeine, overheating, dehydration, etc. -- at least, I find it's more helpful to shrug and say "It's probably the weather" or whatever than to say "Help, I need more pills". The moods generally pass. (þas ofereode, þisses swa mæg.)

Currently in a downswing for no apparent reason. Was wandering around town feeling like my legs were made of lead and my stomach was a bottomless pit. Probably largely attributable to insufficient sleep and too much sun over the weekend.

043. I think prostitution should be legalized

Probably.

044. I think Britney Spears is hot but not as hot as christina

Britney Spears is a minger. Who is christina, and where is her capital letter?

045. I have cheated on a significant other in the past

I'm not proud of it. And I don't really like being involved with people who are cheating on their SOs (though I've done that too). Not least because if they're happy to keep on lying to their other partner(s), they'll probably have few qualms about lying to me as well.

046. I have a hidden talent

So well hidden I haven't found it yet.

047. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
048. I think that I’m popular

I don't know why, but a lot of people seem to want to talk to me and stuff. Which is nice.

050. I have kissed someone of the same sex

Ho, yus.

051. I enjoy talking on the phone

Sometimes. To a select few. Mostly I'm awkward with phonecalls, but I can talk for hours to my parents.

052. I practically live in sweatpants
053. I love to shop
054. I would rather shop than eat

What kind of damnfool question is that? If you don't eat, you die.

055. I would classify myself as ghetto

I don't even know what this means. I used to own a ghetto-blaster, does that help?

056. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders

Er, I've worn a sweater tied round my waist. What is "bourgie"?

057. I’m obsessed with my LJ

I don't think I'm obsessed with it. "I could give up any time."

058. I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.

There are quite a few people I dislike, and there are people I want to give a good slapping, but I don't think I hate anybody.

059. I’m a good dancer

Well, er. I'm an enthusiastic dancer.

060. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington

I wasn't there, I have no idea.

061. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother

I'm proud to be seen with her. She's lovely.

062. I have a cell phone
063. I believe in God
064. I watch MTV on a daily basis (pimp my ride!)

What the fuck does "pimp my ride" mean?

065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
066. I love drama

Living in Cambridge, I'd have to, right? ... Oh, I see. Well, I love theatre as well.

067. I have never been in a REAL relationship before
068. I’ve rejected someone before

Well, I've declined romantic relationships with people, if that's what you mean. I guess I've "rejected" people in a wider sense, too, but not usually without good reason.

069. I currently have a crush on someone
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

See below.

071. I want to have children in the future

*sigh*

072. I have changed a diaper before
073. I’ve called the cops on a friend before

Ambulance, yes; cops, no.

074. I bite my nails

But not very often these days.

075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club

Who?

076. I’m not allergic to anything
077. I have a lot to learn

We all do!

078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex

Bwahahahaha.

081. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message

My website is online 24/7, does that count?

082. I have at least 5 away messages saved
083. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party

Well, actually, I don't know if I have "tried alcohol" at a party. I mean, I'd already got past the "trying" stage before I had it at parties.

084. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past

With said friend's knowledge, consent, and piss-taking, usually.

085. I own the “South Park” movie
086. I have avoided assignments at work to be on LJ

Well, er. I've procrastinated from work to be on LJ. I don't actually avoid doing stuff long-term.

087. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum
088. I enjoy country music
089. I would die for my best friends.

I don't know. Dying for people rarely achieves anything. I guess I'll find out if it ever becomes necessary.

090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can
092. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist

I can be a bit of a perfectionist, but I'm not very good at it.

093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career

Er, well. I guess being co-chair of LGBSoc was CV points, so in that sense...

094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story”

Who? What?

096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy

Hallowe'en, if you could spell it correctly, does not involve "free candy" at all in my world.

097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it

I have no idea what this is.

098. I have dated a close friend’s ex

In Cambridge, everybody is a close friend's ex.

099. I’m happy as of this moment

I'm fairly neutral right now.

100. I regret a past mistake, and intend never to repeat it

Comments

definitions

[vinaigrettegirl.livejournal.com]

applebottom: IIRC, it means perfectly symmetrical and rounded;
packing: well-hung, as in "hey, nice packet";
cornrows: what, traditionally, Black Africans, and now everyone, can do to their hair for ceremonial and/or decorative purposes: close-to-the-scalp plaits. The term itself is from US slave days; see corn on the cob for an illustration from nature [maize, just to be irritatingly obvious].

[possibly controversial statement follows: most white folks look like uutermost dorks with 'rows, I don't care how naturally curly their hair is.]

Re: definitions

[j4.livejournal.com]

I thought "packing" might be that, but I also thought it could be six-packs rather than packets, IYSWIM. So I wasn't sure. Never heard "applebottom" in my life before, strikes me as a very strange word...

Re: definitions

[nja.livejournal.com]

I'd assumed they meant "fat bum" and "big gut" respectively. I've seen the terms "pear-shaped" used for the typical female overweight shape (large bottom and legs) and "apple-shaped" for the typical male pattern (large belly and torso).

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

I'm the psycho-ex in my current relationship.

You're no psycho, missy.

I don't know why, but a lot of people seem to want to talk to me and stuff.

Cos you're lovely, smart and interesting (in no particular order).

I have fresh breath in the morning

And you fart violets. Really.

[j4.livejournal.com]

You're no psycho, missy.

That's what you think.

And you fart violets. Really.

It's not true! ... Though possibly if I've been eating a lot of parma violets and drinking fizzy water... hmmm, will have to experiment.

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

Liqiourice, apparently...

[j4.livejournal.com]

Huh? What about it?

Makes you fart, admittedly, but no violets involved.

[sparrowsion]

What the fuck does "pimp my ride" mean?

It's an MTV show in which a member of the MTV-watching public gets their car turned from something which looks like it's been dragged backwards out of the scrapheap into a schoolboy's wet dream of what a cool car looks like. Neither before nor after versions would be street legal in this country.

[saraphale.livejournal.com]

It's the same phenomenon that gets people buying £200 hatchback and spending £3,000 on a stereo system, a paintjob and a bodykit, while forgetting to get the MOT and insurance. Shortly afterwards, it becomes a 'hot hatch', of the 'Soon to be burned-out hatch' variety.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

001. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
For heaven's sake. Is there anybody who would disagree with that statement?

Someone might say they made many bad decisions...

[j4.livejournal.com]

Good point! But if one has made many bad decisions, it is presumably also true that one has made some bad decisions...

Al Sharpton

[saraphale.livejournal.com]

http://www.sharpton2004.org/

I'd never even heard of the guy. Makes me wonder.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Sharpton's managed to turn himself from a rabble-rousing reverend into a somewhat polished, iconoclastic politician.

Re: Al Sharpton

[ewx.livejournal.com]

If you've read Tom Wolfe's The Bonfire Of The Vanities, he's the inspiration for Rev. Bacon, an inflammatory black preacher and politician. The real Sharpton seems to have mellowed with age, judging by the content of his DNC speech (which is getting a tremendous amount of attention). Recommend Tom Wolfe, incidentally.

Other definitions ... I assume 'bourgie' means 'bourgeois'. To my understanding wearing a sweater round the shoulders as opposed to the waist has (upwards) class connotations.

Re: Al Sharpton

[sparrowsion]

Surely wearing a sweater round anything puts a rather low upper limit on class pretentions?

Re: Not actually Al Sharpton

[j4.livejournal.com]

Depends what sort of sweater it is. If it's a 100% cashmere sweater from Edinburgh Woolen Mills you're not going to look like cheap trash whatever you tie it around.