Odd. Most odd.
Mar. 19th, 2003 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j4I phoned up to tell the NHS that I wasn't going to attend the interview for that job I was dithering about ... and then told them that I would be attending. I just changed my mind somewhere between dialing the number and actually getting to the reason for my call.
I think it's partly that Cogwheel have finally got round to finding me a counselling appointment that I can actually get to, and it's at lunchtime on the same day; so I think some part of my brain said "Might as well take the day as holiday and do both things". Actually, I was hoping to work at home instead, but Cynical Richard says he'd rather I didn't. Maybe he's getting wise to the fact that I'd just sit there livejournalling the whole time. :-/
Basically though I don't really know why I did it, and now I'm having second thoughts about it already, and I feel even more confused. I guess I could always ring them back a couple of days later and pretend I've been offered another job since then, so I won't be doing the interview...
***
As regards the other poll, the one about my birthday... I'm really starting to tend towards the "don't do the seminar, have the party WHEN I GODDAMN WANT IT" side of the argument. The seminar is expensive and given the way I'm feeling at the moment I don't know if I'd get that much out of it. I think in a way I'd rather just have a long weekend with a bloody great party in the middle of it.
Still not totally decided yet though. God, why am I such a useless heap of indecision at the moment?
I think it's partly that Cogwheel have finally got round to finding me a counselling appointment that I can actually get to, and it's at lunchtime on the same day; so I think some part of my brain said "Might as well take the day as holiday and do both things". Actually, I was hoping to work at home instead, but Cynical Richard says he'd rather I didn't. Maybe he's getting wise to the fact that I'd just sit there livejournalling the whole time. :-/
Basically though I don't really know why I did it, and now I'm having second thoughts about it already, and I feel even more confused. I guess I could always ring them back a couple of days later and pretend I've been offered another job since then, so I won't be doing the interview...
***
As regards the other poll, the one about my birthday... I'm really starting to tend towards the "don't do the seminar, have the party WHEN I GODDAMN WANT IT" side of the argument. The seminar is expensive and given the way I'm feeling at the moment I don't know if I'd get that much out of it. I think in a way I'd rather just have a long weekend with a bloody great party in the middle of it.
Still not totally decided yet though. God, why am I such a useless heap of indecision at the moment?
no subject
Date: 2003-03-19 09:28 am (UTC)Erm, because you're depressed and everything seems pointless? You don't need to beat yourself up about it as well.
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Date: 2003-03-19 10:22 am (UTC)The symptoms of depression depress me. I know that's really circular, but it's true. I just want to be well, goddamnit. I want to wake up one morning and not feel like shit. I guess that's a lot to ask of the world. :-/
no subject
Date: 2003-03-19 02:25 pm (UTC)