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j4Karate lesson yesterday nearly turned into a philosophy lesson; I'm feeling increasingly detached from everything I do, and finding it hard to stay motivated, and I wanted to talk to sensei about this in the context of the karate. Unfortunately this got into a general discussion of how to maintain motivation in life, and I just wasn't in a fit state to deal with that. However the impending existential crisis was neatly averted by doing some work on the yellow belt geri wasa, and starting to learn the green belt one. I love the way the philosophy interacts with the physical; though I think on this occasion the physical work did me more good than the discussion would have done. Sensei commented at the end, though, that it's the same lesson whether we get there by talking or by kicking, punching, etc.; I'm starting to see what he means.
Slightly mopey evening in the pub afterwards; everybody seemed to be either too tired for much conversation (though I did have a nice chat with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ewx) or too busy elsewhere to talk to me. Or perhaps it was just that, as usual, I was being loud, predictable, unfunny, and generally not somebody that anybody would want to talk to, despite what they may claim when they're trying to make me feel better.
Finding it hard to feel happy even though some good stuff is happening -- namely friends who were falling out horribly seem to have sorted out their differences and got their lives back in sync. I honestly am glad for them, it's just hard to change how I feel within myself.
Party alert:
Despite all this,sion_a and I seem to have agreed to host an Emergency Lack of Party Party tomorrow. You know the drill: our place, party o'clock.
Slightly mopey evening in the pub afterwards; everybody seemed to be either too tired for much conversation (though I did have a nice chat with
ewx) or too busy elsewhere to talk to me. Or perhaps it was just that, as usual, I was being loud, predictable, unfunny, and generally not somebody that anybody would want to talk to, despite what they may claim when they're trying to make me feel better.Finding it hard to feel happy even though some good stuff is happening -- namely friends who were falling out horribly seem to have sorted out their differences and got their lives back in sync. I honestly am glad for them, it's just hard to change how I feel within myself.
Party alert:
Despite all this,
sion_a and I seem to have agreed to host an Emergency Lack of Party Party tomorrow. You know the drill: our place, party o'clock.
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no subject
Date: 2003-03-21 09:54 am (UTC)If it's an outside person doing the grading, mention it to your instructor, see what they say. People do generally want their students to pass gradings (as long as it's for the right reasons).
When is this grading?
no subject
Date: 2003-03-24 05:32 am (UTC)The people doing the grading[1] are all from the school, and I did mention it to my instructor, and he sympathises but he says it's just something you get used to. Maybe he's right. Ho hum.
[1] If it was just one person doing it, it'd be fine; but it's basically lots of the scary black belts wandering around and assessing all the people who are grading at that time. Which means it's not a scary "stand up in front of these millionth-dan black belts and feel all their eyes on you", but it also means it's a bit chaotic, and everybody gets out of sync, and ... argh.