Another girl, another planet

[j4]

You Are From Mercury

You are talkative, clever, and knowledgeable - and it shows. You probably never leave home without your cell phone! You're witty, expressive, and aware of everything going on around you. You love learning, playing, and taking in all of what life has to offer. Be careful not to talk your friends' ears off, and temper your need to know everything.

What Planet Are You From?

It's true: I never leave home without my cell phone. How did they know?

Comments

Poor mad John Gray...

[spyinthehaus.livejournal.com]

It is a little-known but trenchant fact that John Gray, rather than being a sensitive spelunker in the undiscovered caverns of human emotion, is in fact the recipient of a whopping great blow on the head, during his convalescence from which he was, so he believes, abducted by aliens. Which aliens explained to him the tragic story of expeditionary forces from Mars and Venus, their ships crashed into the primitive planet over which they were battling (yes. Just like Transformers), slowly losing their culture history and understanding of why they got on so awfully, labouring as they did under the illusion that they shared a species and a common blue-green planet.

Pity John Gray, as his attempts to share this sanity-blasting knowledge with a world that insists on interpreting his every doomy utterance as a comment on the bittersweet battle of the sexes.

JG: So, on Mars, the native planet of those we call men but who are truly Martians, the Martians lived in caves.

Man: So, you mean it's important that I have a den, a rumpus room, a shed... a "cave" where I can process things, and that doesn't mean I love my wife any less, just that I need my space? Even if it's just the ball game or poker evening?

JG: No, I don't mean that. I mean that Martians live in caves. Martians. Caves. And sometimes Venusian strike raiders attack the caves and blast them open with their laser cannon.

Woman: So, if I bring up stories involving him expressing emotion or showing vulnerability when we are out with his friends, I "blast open" his "cave"?

JG: What is with you people and airquotes? Why won't you just listen? You're aliens, damn it. Aliens from alien space. You are genetically programmed for nothing else than to drive the other into total extinction using your vicious blades and blastageddon rifles.

Man and Woman: We had no idea it was that serious...

JG: Finally!

M: I know it's going to be hard, honey, but I promise to "lay down" my "vicious blades" by allowing you into my circle of friends.

W: And I, by promising not to go into your shed when you are not there, will try to "decomission" my "blastageddon rifles".

M&W: This is my pledge to you.

I bet David Icke never has to take this crap.

Re: Poor mad John Gray...

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

Martians or Venusians, John Gray thinks we're all no better than animals (http://blackbeltjones.typepad.com/work/2004/10/the_two_john_gr.html).