Another girl, another planet

[j4]

You Are From Mercury

You are talkative, clever, and knowledgeable - and it shows. You probably never leave home without your cell phone! You're witty, expressive, and aware of everything going on around you. You love learning, playing, and taking in all of what life has to offer. Be careful not to talk your friends' ears off, and temper your need to know everything.

What Planet Are You From?

It's true: I never leave home without my cell phone. How did they know?

Comments

[acronym.livejournal.com]

Of course, on reflection, like all of these things there's a grain of truth in these; but reflection's a funny thing.

There's a mirror hangs to the left of my chair at home; a bedsit, so it's the full-length over the radiator next to the wardrobe. (Not that I use it as a wardrobe, the piles of laundry in front of it see to that - but the principle is sound). I don't much like how I look, particularly not slumped in front of a computer wearing the green hue of monitor-glow: but it's hard to escape from yourself, I've found.

Sometimes, I startle myself; I look round and don't recognise my reflection. My mental self-image is a composite of twenty-four years of myself, of different glasses (or no glasses!) and unbroken/broken teeth and no small scars, no aging and naivete and teenage angst, of too much age and too many years and too much cynicism, bad skin and blackheads (but I skipped the adolescent acne), too much sleep and too much caffeine, too little sleep and no fresh coffee, self-awareness, self-confidence (and its absence), self-delusion, self-obsession, self-disgust, narcissism, a fundamentally baby-faced and fat facial structure, the unruly mop of short/long/parted/gelled/combed/tousled hair, the world-weary expression, an absence of stubble (but very dark facial hair that always shows through whatever you do...), confusion, joy, fear, hope, hatred; all of the above and all the contradictions and all at once. It's those I'm trying to avoid seeing, I think, because they're all true and it paralyzes.

What my eyes see and what my mind registers aren't the same thing. You can't see yourself for the first time again; same as when you answer any of these quizzes, you know what the answer will be, or what you'd like the answer to be. Your preconceptions shape your actions before you even realise it.

So, are these things reinforcing the truth, or a lie, or something in between? I think I like the person the quizzes describe more than myself, often. I don't think I have a spiritual nature; there isn't much nature left in this kind of life.

Anyway, I allegedly have research to do.