Who knows where the time goes?

[j4]

Wednesday:
Finally gave up and called in sick to work, too tired to stand up. I had been having trouble sleeping because of bunged-up-ness and sore throat, so I didn't feel too guilty. (If you can see or hear it, it's a real illness... No, really.)

Intended to get some sleep, but people kept distracting me with irc and email. Not that I ever mind at the time, of course. Eventually my body worked out that it wasn't going to get any sleep even if it kept pestering me, so it perked up a bit. Which was fortunate, as it meant I was awake enough to meet up with hoiho for dinner and poetry. Good food, good poetry, better company. :-) Roger McGough was excellent as usual; hoiho has already done a short version of the standard review, so just imagine I did one here too. ("Blah blah Liverpool poets ... on good form ... from the poignant to the philosophical to the just plain funny ... truths for our times, memorably expressed ... etc.")

"The Way Things Are" still hit me just the way it always does, though.


Thursday:
Had lunch in town with lnr, which was lovely, even if she was a bundle of nerves about her Hot Date. :-) Did more shopping than I should have done ... bought a cute little denim halter-neck top, and a black shirt with a MILLION BILLION POCKETS on it. Also finally gave in and bought the tATu album.

Thought I had karate after work, but when I got there somebody else was just arriving thinking it was time for their lesson... of course I'd forgotten that there was a sword workshop on Friday (tonight) this week, so I was counting that as my week's lesson. Felt annoyed with myself for being so stupid.

I'd agreed to stay in for "quality time" (blehh, horrid phrase) with sion_a last night, & we tried to talk about stuff but just ended up making each other tearful and miserable. Not helped by me being twitchy about other stuff anyway. More or less sorted things out short-term, and curled up to watch "The Big Sleep" together -- fantastic film! -- but I still don't feel like much has been sorted out or changed long-term. :-(


And now:
I'm tired, so tired. I feel hollow inside.

In the animated film "Flight of Dragons", they explain how dragons fly; it's all to do with hot air, and limestone in the belly. Anyway, if you run out of limestone, or you breathe out too much fire, you run out of hot air and you can't fly any more. If you let it get to that point, there's nothing you can do about it; you just crash and burn.

I seem to have been thinking about dragons a lot lately.

Also thinking about personals ads. Finding it very difficult to write one for myself, because I can think of so many different ones depending on the mood I'm in. Currently thinking of something along the lines of:

"Tired saggy jumper seeks strong body to give it new shape. Wear me in, wear me out! Unravelling in places but still comfortable."

... I feel like I've lost all my sharp edges. Things used to be brighter, sharper, clearer. Mostly I just want to sleep.

Comments

Hello

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm Andrew. I've been asked by daneel_olivaw and lnr to leave a message for you on your LJ. I know neither of them but they both spotted me on davefish's lj and asked, so I have.

enjoy

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

Anything with Bogie in is a fantastic film by default, but The Big Sleep is the best. (You DID watch the Bogart version, yes??)

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

One of my friends really liked The Flight Of Dragons at the time, then ealuscerwen brought it up a few weeks ago. Some day I shall have to watch it again, ideally some day soon.

Sorry I don't write more. I do think about you and do care about you but it's difficult to find words which I think might be helpful or useful very frequently.

From memory, I thought you posted something recently about your money situation - unfortunately, I've looked through your recent postings and can't find it to refer to it. Nevertheless, I have got a vague feeling that you recently renewed your seriousness with which you were trying to moderate your spending and that you did want people to call you on it (ugh - horrid Americanism, but YKWIM) when things seemed astray. By your comment Did more shopping than I should have done this has been at the forefront of your mind recently. I don't want to cause you needless angst, particularly at the moment (though is there ever a good time?) but I'd like to express concern about the way things are going financially for you at the moment. If I do remember correctly and you do want people to express concern when it seems to be particularly appropriate, then I'm doing so right now whether it really is appropriate or not. (If I don't remember correctly, kindly imagine I hadn't posted this!)