Do UCE?

They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover...

I've been giving away lots of old paperbacks on the local giveaway newsgroup, among them several Ian Fleming novels; so when I got an email entitled "For your eyes only" I was delighted that somebody had actually used an informative subject line rather than the usual "book" ... there then followed a moment of puzzlement as I realised that I wasn't giving away a copy of "For Your Eyes Only". In the end I couldn't be bothered to fight my way through the HTML to work out what the spamsters were offering me, but you can bet it wasn't books.

On the other side of the coin, though, email from the obviously-made-up name "Rex Agacy" with the obviously-spam subject line "Wranglers" turned out to be not the expected offer of cheap knock-off designer jeans but a perfectly legitimate (if unusual) request for a list of Cambridge University's top three Mathematical Wranglers.

Best. Joke. Ever.

Look, I don't normally do this, but this is the funniest thing I've heard all week.

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So, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: 'Just Released! New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now'. Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.

"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

So the world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I recognised none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

The world expert on European wasps (and the sounds that they make) steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."

Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."

"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant...

( go on! hit me with the punchline! )