Best. Joke. Ever.

[j4]

Look, I don't normally do this, but this is the funniest thing I've heard all week.

---

So, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: 'Just Released! New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now'. Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.

"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

So the world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I recognised none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

The world expert on European wasps (and the sounds that they make) steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."

Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."

"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant...

"I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."

Comments

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Oh.

My.

Ghod!

[sbp.livejournal.com]

Arf!

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Ow.

[nomme.livejournal.com]

That's so bad it's brilliant.

[publicansdecoy.livejournal.com]

The spirit of Richard Whiteley lives on!

-x-

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

RIP Ronnie Corbett.

(I don't think it was one of his - I hadn't heard it before - but definitely his style.)

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

Arrrgggghhhhh.

[martling.livejournal.com]

My father will appreciate that one.

That's how bad it is.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

Fantastic!

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

I'm coming round to smack you fOr that!

[burkesworks.livejournal.com]

(sound of loud groans coming down the A1)

Finch, chimps, and mushy bees all round for that one!

[venta.livejournal.com]

Good heavens. You're the first person outside of my family I've ever heard say "finch and chimps".

[burkesworks.livejournal.com]

The "finch and chimps" one has to be my all-time favourite bad joke, just about beating the one that has the punchline "Hans that does dishes is as soft as your Fez with wild green hairy-lipped squid".

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Which latter is one of the most awful contrived jokes there is. So what ... no, I probably don't want to know the 'finch and chimps' one.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Er,... oh. I don't think I actually know the joke. I guess my parents must have done, but now "finch and chimps" has just become their standard term for "fish and chips".

[lnr]

snake and pygmy pie!

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I was just reading somewhere about how, on average, women enjoy gag jokes more than men do because women lower their expectations so far that they're often pleasantly surprised.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Some of us don't do gag jokes because it's so much better when they scream...

[aardvark179.livejournal.com]

That is so bad it's brilliant.

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

*groan*

You realise there's an entire generation of kids growing up who won't quite get it?

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Indeed - which is why it needed to get spread before LPs finally get forgotten.

[darcydodo]

Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!

(hee hee hee) :)