Today

[j4]

Just call me Miss Moodswings. Today I have been mostly excited, but also frustrated. But the frustrated is mostly work, and that's boring. No fewer boring than anything else I write, but differently so. See?

So. Today I managed to win a hotly-contested game of Scrabble (not the one against verlaine, or the one against sion_a, in both of which I was given the PASTINGS I couldn't play at addedentry). I also managed to buy useful things at lunchtime, including a proper bag to replace my tattered work bag (an army surplus rucksack that I bought about 5 years ago for a tenner which (the bag, not the tenner) has developed a hole in the bottom THE SIZE OF A MAN'S HEAD [that's the hole that's the size of, etc., not the bottom]). The proper bag is a cunning convertible whatnot which converts, with two unclips and reclips (two of each) of the strap-clips, from a shoulder-bag into a rucksack. (Still with me? Good.) It also has a mobile-phone-shaped pocket into which my mobile phone will undoubtedly fail to fit since it is the size of a small family car (the phone, not the pocket [which is the nature of the problem (that is, the problem is the disparity in size, not the pocket per se, but even more so not the phone [so perhaps after all it is the pocket that is at fault])]). In addition to the bag and all its attendent grammatical complications I bought a stir-fry mix which made a jolly good salad (especially with half of yesterday's can of tuna in it), a haggis, some carrots, and some egg custard tarts.

This evening I tidied up the mountain of paper-based stuff on sion_a's chair, and did some mending that had been sitting around waiting to be mended for about FIVE YEARS, while sion_a played Sonic Spinball. (That is, I did the mending while he, not it sat around while he, if you see what I.) This makes it sound like I did all the work while he slacked, but really, normally he does everything while I procrastinate too much to even slack efficiently. The conversation (if you can call it a conversation) went something like this:

S: "Nooooo! That's not fair!!"
J: "God, I've completely messed this up. I'll have to unpick the whole row."
S: "Phew, I've bust through the door, now I've just got to get back up the barrels."
J: "It's only back-stitch, how can I make such a mess of this?"
S: "Aghh! Now I've got to get ALL FOUR HEADS again!"
J: "I'd have to darn this, for fuck's sake. I can't darn corduroy."
S: "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
J: "GRAHHHHH!"

Men are from Nintendo, women are from haberdashery. After much thread-related frustration on my part and hedgehog-related frustration on his, we went to the pub and drank beer. I came away with one invitation to pancakes, one promise of a cgi tutorial, one plan for a party, and one absence of cornet music. And two pints' worth of drunkenness.

Now I am going to have a bath. Drunken conversations make more sense than normal conversations:

J: "sion_a?"
S: [silence]
J: "sion_a!"
S: [silence]
J: "MISTER sion_a!!!"
S: "Hm?"
J: "Are you having a bath?"
S: "Huh?"
J: "ARE YOU HAVING A BATH?"
S: "No!"
J: "Can I have a bath?"
S: "Yes!"
J: "Great!"

It's like Beckett, but with more baths in it. I have run a bath. My bath is going cold while I type this. It is like Molloy, ONLY WITH BATHS. Really. Take my word for it. Or not.

Comments

[besskeloid.livejournal.com]

A bottom the size of a man's head isn't really that big, is it?

Hope you enjoyed yr bathtime.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

"No fewer boring than"?

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

Correct, it should have been "No fewer boring from".

[j4.livejournal.com]

Language is my bitch.

Advanced yore

[barnacle.livejournal.com]

You mean "language arse my bitch."

[jvvw.livejournal.com]

Women are from haberdashery - I couldn't help reading that without thinking that that must be the impression that the men at my last company I worked at must have got. They only employed women who had been to the school I did (the name of which was Haberdashers). I have no idea if this was a deliberate policy or not.

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

You had only to Aske.

[rgl.livejournal.com]

I went to Haberdashers' as well! Though not the girls' school, obviously.

[jvvw.livejournal.com]

Really? What year were you in?

[rgl.livejournal.com]

There's no way I can answer this without revealing my age, is there? Damn. I was there from 1984 to 1993 (I started half-way through prep school, in case you're wondering why those dates are a bit weird).

I did actually have fencing lessons in the girls' school when I was in 6th form.

[jvvw.livejournal.com]

You must have been in the same year as me then...

[rgl.livejournal.com]

That's a bit of a surprise! I'll look you up in the yearbook when I get home...

[jvvw.livejournal.com]

This could be embarrassing...

[rgl.livejournal.com]

OK, any requests for me to scan it in? mehehehe

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

They have damn good kids' chess teams, they do.

[jvvw.livejournal.com]

Doesn't surprise me if it's the boys' school. The girls' school was rubbish at chess when I was there.

[setting-sun.livejournal.com]

Sonic Spinball is about the most frustrating game of all time. I feel his pain.

Oh, the sweet parentheses...

[cosmolinguist]

Though my favorite is still that you thought you had to differentiate between the bag and the tenner.

Yet I also love the sentence "It's like Beckett, but with more baths in it." In general, I think this entry is beautiful.

[taimatsu]

Oh, you make me smile. Thank you.

[rmc28]

You have just made me laugh out loud a lot, especially with the Beckett line.

[arnhem.livejournal.com]

])])

This happens to my sentences, too (but my words tend to be less excellent).

[sparrowsion]

I just want to point out that my lack of responsiveness in the second case was due to me being in the bathroom with the door closed. (Although I do wonder if I should get my hearing checked, given the problems I often have understanding people.)

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

Well, you could buy a mug kettle - it's the kettle element without the kettle, stick it in a mug of cold water and get a mug of boiling water, surprisingly fast. Can be used to reintepidate your bath, and will thereafter impart an interesting flavour to your mug of tea.