Why don't they have ecstasy aunts as well?

[j4]

It's happened quite frequently lately that I seem to have ended up accidentally trying to offer people advice. I should point out to anybody who might find themself in the situation of asking for (or receiving unsolicited) advice from me that I'm really not very good at giving advice. I try to say useful things because I care, but more often than not I think I just put my foot in it.

I was going to write a long essay on the giving and taking of advice, but right now I'm just feeling too sad about seeing things go wrong for lovely people. Sometimes I just want to hug the world and make everybody a cup of tea, but that really doesn't sit well with a fashionably and ironically cynical image, does it? So it's just as well I don't really have such an image.

Comments

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Speaking as another person who wants to be able to hug the whole world and make everything better for everyone, I for one appreciate that attitude on your behalf, and to hell with fashinable cynicism.

[rmc28]

What rysmiel said *hug*

[tals.livejournal.com]

Screw that (with all due respect)! A cup of tea, a hug and some advice are always welcome, and the best thing I could get right now.

Point is, if we ALL do it we all look after each other and get through life. We need to. If we're ever going to improve the world.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Amen.

I think also, on reflection, the biggest problem I have with cynical attitudes is that they are assuming zero-sum functionality for things which need not be, but which reply to how you interact with them; I've never found fondness and affection to be zero-sum, positive feedback's marvellous, but if you treat them like they are, they will be.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

Tea is better than advice. An Ecstasy Aunt would be lovely but probably not as much fun as an Amphetaminines Fairy.

Hugs are far too much to hope for. But then, I remain blissfully unaware of whatever it is that half the people in my LJ circle are going through at any given time. I suspect that, in this case, I would be better off not knowing - and providing tea, the occasional pint of beer and an unsympathetic ear whenever the opportunity to do so might arise.

[taimatsu]

When I first read your post subject, I sat there thinking "What on earth's an ecstasy uncle? Something weird to do with drugs?" I think I had the emphasis on the wrong word.

You have been very memorably wonderful at being supportive of me in the recent past, so don't think too badly of yourself on this score.

Could we meet up sometime in the next month or two? (Shall I email you about this?)

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

That's what i thought, too. But now i don't know what the alluded idiom is. Misery aunt?

[taimatsu]

Agony, I think :)

[j4.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of "the agony and the ecstasy" and applying it to "agony aunt" (i.e. person who answers 'problems page' letters). It made more sense in my head, I think. :)

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Well, we don't see that terminology on this side of the pond, so that was probably the source of my confusion.

[j4.livejournal.com]

Could we meet up sometime in the next month or two? (Shall I email you about this?)

That would be lovely (though I warn you my weekends get booked up pretty quickly); and yes, probably best to sort things out by email.

I think my subject line confused everybody. :-}

[imc.livejournal.com]

It didn't confuse me. Though I am wondering why the uncles get left out. :-)

I'm staying with Aunt Sally, but you know, she's not really my aunt

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

I'm really not very good at giving advice

Respectfully demur. You're reticent, and wary, about giving advice; but what you say more often than not is right, and to the point. You're well worth listening to.

Anway, you can be my ecstasy aunt any time.

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

Underneath every long-time cynic's rough shell is a romantic. That's the fuel that keeps us going; otherwise, most cynics would just die in a world where every action is suspect and no one is trusted. Deep down, we WANT to believe and trust and love and hope.

Tea is good. I like tea.

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

Wot they sed.

Sorry I missed you tonight, by the way (I assume you were at the Carlton?)- I sort of wanted to wander in on my way back from rehearsal to give you hugs, but I was being given a lift, so ...

[j4.livejournal.com]

Ah, I wasn't at the Carlton actually -- too much Stuff To Do here.

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

Much as an agony aunt attempts to restore people from agony to the status quo, I wonder whether an ecstasy (fx: corrects spelling based on subject line of post) aunt might deal with those currently "suffering" from excess ecstasy? (Presumably by channeling their exuberant energies into projects useful for the world, rather than randomly insulting them.)

I like your attitude and agree that there cannot be enough joy in the world. I am here with Meg for the next two weeks, so assume I'm all right, Jack, and don't worry about me. :-)