Still ill

[j4]

I came off the Pill on Thursday. I'm now shaky, nauseous, and uncontrollably weepy (and my period won't stop). Every time I think it can't possibly get any worse while I'm putting so much effort into trying to make it better, it does. And after 10+ years of fighting depression I'm really tired of being shouted at for not being optimistic enough about getting better or finding a cure.

And yes, I cried, I'm sorry, I cried because I'm in pain and I'm frightened and I am worn down to scratchy backing-material and bent tacks from gritting my teeth and trying not to feel the wrong thing.

I feel like my life is just one big flat I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry with nowhere left to hide.

Comments

[anat0010.livejournal.com]

and while I'm dispensing good advice ...

Dont keep your feelings inside. Dont be afraid to let it all out and tell people how utterly shit you feel.
It may make you feel better, at the very least it may keep some people off your back for a while.

[j4.livejournal.com]

It doesn't make me feel better, and it just makes the people who love me run away. Which really doesn't help. :-( But I don't know how to keep it all in.