Three questions of etiquette

[j4]

1. Is there any non-offensive way to say to people (who have misinterpreted our probably-confusing invitations-and-website nonsense and RSVPd to say they will be pleased to come to the wedding) "I'm sorry but the invite was only to the reception (because the actual wedding is v small)"? I just feel as though any way of saying it feels really horrible but we honestly can't fit everybody in. :-(

2. Is it even worse to ask this on my LJ where a) inevitably some people reading this will not have been invited to either (all other things being equal, this would still be a world-readable journal and the venue would still be finite) and b) everybody will think "oh noes are they talking about me?".

3. Might it be better to just shoot myself now?

Comments

[monkeyhands.livejournal.com]

I think you really need the insight and perspective that only the 31st comment saying the same thing can bring, so:

Civil weddings are the other way round from church weddings: the reception involves more people and is longer and more important than the ceremony. I also think that this is easy for most people to understand, and that most people wil grasp that being invited to your "wedding" may well be an invite to the reception only.

Where you might have trouble is with older people who are used to church weddings where the world and his wife turn up to the ceremony and it's the reception which is limited in numbers. (We had similar problems at our own wedding, where someone who wasn't even invited to any of it turned up unannounced and sat down in the room where the ceremony was taking place, because she's used to church weddings and she thought she could just slip in at the back like you would in a church.)

I have more advice about how to break it to these older people, but maybe I'll email you instead of making this comment even longer.