Banker

[j4]

Just had the most maddening conversation ever with Alliance & Leicester's internet banking helpdesk. Notes here mostly for my own benefit because I'll write them up into a proper complaint before moving to a different bank.

While trying to make a one-off payment online, I got the following error:

Microsoft VBScript runtime error '800a000d'

Type mismatch: 'CInt'

E:\INETPUB\WWWROOT\IBREBUILD\MOVE_MONEY\../includes/validation.asp, line 191

So I phoned the internet banking helpdesk and told them that I had tried to make a payment online but halfway through the process had had "a VBScript runtime error". The man I spoke to immediately said "that's your software, that's nothing to do with us". I said (trying to be polite) that I didn't think it was my software, that I was using Safari; he just repeated insistently and dismissively that it was the way my software was set up. Suspecting that this might be a default we-don't-support-Macs position, I said "Are you saying that I can't use Safari for internet banking?" and he said no, it was a software problem. (I don't think he had a clue what 'Safari' was, to be honest.) I insisted that the problem was with their site, not with my software.

He then asked me to go through the steps I'd gone through before to get to the error, so that he could watch what was happening; I started to do this, telling him what I was doing at each stage (though at every step he interrupted what I was saying to tell me what to do). When I got to the point of selecting an account, I realised that what I'd done the previous time was to select the Premier Direct Account (the default in the drop-down menu -- it's some kind of useless savings account that I can't make payments out of) instead of the Current Account. I said that I'd realised that I'd done the wrong thing before, but offered to retrace my steps so that he could debug the error. He said no, and said that so long as I could do what I wanted now, that was the main thing. I said that that was one of the main things, but that surely it would be useful to see why such a bad error was coming up, and pointed out that my confidence in their internet banking was not helped by such an appalling failure mode. At this point he started being extremely patronising and tried to explain to me that "if it doesn't like the things you put in, then you get an error, that's how it works". I pointed out that I'm a professional web developer and I understand about bad user input, but I also understand about sensible validation of user input, proper error handling, and user-friendly error messages. He did reluctantly conceded that the error message could be "a bit more user friendly" but otherwise insisted that my computer and my software were the problem; he also rarely let me finish anything I tried to say, at one point interrupting me with "We use computers here, Mrs Knight" (he got my name wrong several times during the conversation).

Trying to end the conversation before I got any more angry, I asked if there was a way that I could submit a full bug report; he said that the email address was on the website, and gave me directions to where to find it. (Following those directions in fact leads not to an email address, nor even a link to a form, but to a brief instruction on how to send a secure message when you're logged in to internet banking.)

Perhaps a new New Year's Resolution (no, I haven't forgotten, but I haven't done them yet either) should be to find a bank whose internet banking isn't shit. :-/ Any recommendations?

Comments

[timscience.livejournal.com]

I've used Lloyds for years, they seem OK.

Then again, they have a Bond villain for a CEO and seem to be responsible for about half the national debt, so who knows?

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

Agh, burninate him like Trogdor!

He did reluctantly conceded that the error message could be "a bit more user friendly"

Yeah, so you could understand it with your simple lady mind, and not be bothering the important helpdesk people who use computers

What an absolute cvnt.

[mooism.livejournal.com]

Supplemental question: are there any banks that let you test drive their internet banking before you get an account with them? (I had a quick look round before I changed banks and didn't find anything, but that was nearly a decade ago.)

But good grief, A+L need to get a clue.

[hsenag.livejournal.com]

Lloyds internet banking generally just works for me, though I haven't tried to report any bugs.

Nationwide also generally just works, however I have once reported a bug by email and not had a particularly positive experience, though not as bad as the one you describe. [The bug was that they messed up the quoting of commas in their CSV downloads.]

[uitlander]

Well, first I feel your pain having just closed the accounts I had with A&L now that the house purchase is over. They were, TBH, without a doubt the worst internet banking site I have ever used. I am now with First Direct who have been absolutely fine for the year I have used their banking.

Their banking site opens in a popup window once you login, which I find annoying, and response rates from the server can be a little slow. But the UI is fine, it does what it says on the tin, I can use any HSBC branch to pay stuff in, and the telephone banking staff are extremely helpful.

I think they will give both of us a small bung if you decide to take up a recommendation.

[taimatsu]

Natwest's internet banking thinks it can't cope with iceweasel, but when I tell it that I'm using IE6 (honest guv) it works fine.

[hilarityallen.livejournal.com]

That is quite, quite appalling.

I've used HSBC internet banking, and it isn't entirely failsome. It does have some stupid blind spots with regard to online statements. I have a few more problems with its ethicalness etc., but it's probably one of the least awful high street banks.

This isn't exactly a ringing endorsement, though.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

I don't recall having had any problems with Lloyds, nor with Nationwide.

[djw.livejournal.com]

So long as you are not a business customer, then I think The Co-op is fine. Better than shAbbey were anyway.

However, if you wish to run a company with a Co-op account, then you may be better with your money heading to Lost Wages.

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

As a data point, the worst things I can say about Barclays' online banking are that it gets very pernickety about use of the "Back" key, that it is pretty proactive about logging people out and that it is noticeably heavy on (mostly announced) downtime. This relates to experiences with Firefox 3 on both Mac and Windows, and we've also not delved into the world of their code-generating (one-time pad-generating?) dongles, which are available as an extra level of verification.

In conclusion: not fun, but not so unacceptable as to make us change.

[emperor]

I've found both Nationwide and HSBC's online bankings to Generally Just Work.

[covertmusic.livejournal.com]

Halifax's is OK. Everything else about them sucks, though.

[claerwen.livejournal.com]

If you're writing it up anyway, I'd be tempted to copy the complaint to Radio 4's Moneybox, which occasionally deals entertainingly with this kind of thing. I guess they only cover stuff when a number of people complain about similar issues, but, y'know, who knows? They have no email address that I can find, unfortunately, but have forms for contacting them at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/moneybox/891726.stm.

[sebastienne.livejournal.com]

I picked Smile (the internet-only arm of the Co-op bank) as an irritatingly ethical teenager. It turns out that, as well as not investing your money in anything dodgy, they also give brilliant customer service - at least, I've never once had a problem with them that couldn't be solved immediately by giving them a call. And things that you need a branch for, like paying in cheques or getting emergency cash out when you lose your card, can be done through any branch of the Co-op.

[pndc.livejournal.com]

If you want a bank that repeatedly breaches their contract with you and does their damnedest to avoid giving out information in response to a Subject Access Request, try Smile. Or if you'd prefer one that ignores attempts to change address or close the account, try Abbey^W Satan^W Name-of-the-week. Halifax is one to avoid too.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's a bank I could actually *recommend*. My business account with HSBC works fine, but I've not tried their personal banking.

[liv]

Smile / Co-op does online banking very well. They have generally good customer service, and you can do the physical bits by going to a Post Office or Co-op shop, and withdraw cash from just about any cash machine (specifically, they're in the Link network). I don't think they're as "ethical" as they claim to be, and they are not very good for anything more complicated than just holding a current account with them. I've had a vanilla current account with them for, oh, 9 years now (since Lloyds pissed me off). I have never had a serious problem with them, and they have been helpful and prompt in sorting out minor problems.

The caveat is that I've mostly been using Firefox under Windows; I can't absolutely promise you that their system will work with more obscure browsers / OSs. Also, they do insist on that annoying "Verified by Visa" thing for online shopping; it's pretty hard to get out of that these days, but if that's a big principle thing for you, Smile won't work.

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

I've never had any problems with the Lloyds website, but then I only use it for the occasional transfer (maybe a dozen per year).

[shui-long.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't wish to recommend Royal Bank of Scotland as a bank - Fred the Shred etc - but have not (yet) taken my accounts away from them largely because their internet banking seems to work without causing me any problems. In the past it was IE only, but now works fine with Firefox; you need the 'card in plastic box' business only for a few functions (e.g. setting up new payee); and it doesn't inflict "Verified by Visa" on you.
I had been thinking about opening an account at A&L, but this thread has probably persuaded me otherwise.