Look both ways before you get cross

[j4]

Things that have made me angry so far today:

* A white van nearly knocking me off my bike at the top of St Giles (YB08 KTE, a DPD van, so maybe it had an express parcel which was actually A TICKING BOMB, yeah right)
* A Post Office van (YN08 UNL) driving up the pavement about 5 inches away from me (I jumped out of the way) as I was standing there writing down the number of the van above
* Endless half-whispered conversations between my office-mate and the department's handyman (he is a bit simple & obviously has a huge crush on her, I suppose it's kind of sweet, but FFS get a room already)
* People who stand right in front of the shelves I'm trying to get to in shops while they have a long phone conversation, and then look cross when I say 'excuse me' (if you don't want your conversation interrupted, get out of the way)
* Sainsbury's till assistants asking me three times if I want a bag, having failed to take any notice of the answer because they're texting/gossiping/staring vacantly into the middle distance. NO I STILL DON'T WANT A BAG unless I'm allowed to put it over your head.
* People who shove past a crowd of people waiting at a pedestrian crossing so that they can cross on red and force the cars to brake suddenly (why do they never quite manage to get run over?)
* The woman in the Post Office who always asks me "it not urgent? you don't need it there soon?" when I send things first class, presumably trying to get me to pay extra for recorded delivery. Yes, I would quite like it to get there soon, THAT'S WHY I'M SENDING IT FIRST CLASS.
* All the people who emailed the IT staff discussion list (600-odd people) to say that they have an opinion on the iPad. (If one more person points out that it's a bit like an iPod Touch and a bit like a laptop but costs quite a bit of money but less than a real laptop, I'm not going to be held responsible for my actions.)
* All the people who emailed the IT staff discussion list to say that they don't have an opinion on the iPad. Wow, yeah, you're so individual, all of you. BORED NOW.
* Miso soup. It's cheap, it always looks/sounds like a really good idea, it tastes like rancid dishwater.
* Other people. All over the place. Like a fvcking disease.
* Myself.

Comments

[emperor]

Near-misses always get my adrenaline going, which leaves me trying to a) not die b) control the accompanying RAGE.

Miso soup

[sparrowsion]

I'm glad it's not just me (while feeling your pain). Someone suggested it as a convenient alternative to chicken soup when ill. I think you'd have to be in a terrible state to start off with for it not to make you feel worse.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I was right behind you up until the miso soup part.

Miso soup is brilliant and I won't hear a word against it.

Except I will hear words, because my ears work. I will however stare vacantly into space and ask your opinion on it again in the hopes of getting a better answer.

Unless, of course, you are talking about instant packet miso soup, in which case I shall retire beaten. Because that often does taste like rancid dishwater.

[j4.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, sorry, I do mean the instant packet stuff.

Also, because I made it in my normal cup, I have now added a layer of rancid-dishwater-residue to the existing strata of tea and coffee. I do not think this is going to improve the flavour of anything. It may be time to WASH THE MUG.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, sorry, I do mean the instant packet stuff.

That's all right, then :)

When recommending miso soup as a cure for everything (ill, cold, miserable, hungry...) I invariably forget to specify that the packet stuff is an abomination and should be avoided.

And washing? A mug? Good grief, woman, what are you playing at? Next you'll be clearing your desk...

(This is based on observation of my own working habits, YMMV.)

[mooism.livejournal.com]

Oh good, I'm glad I'm not the only person who does that.

[lnr]

I have two mugs, so I don't have to wash the one I use for cup-a-soup occasionally every time I want a coffee. Mind you the cup-a-soup one currently has a thick layer of chocolate residue in the bottom, which probably wouldn't go well with chicken noodle soup.

[celestialweasel.livejournal.com]

Many years ago, Mr Snips, (whom God preserve, of Utrecht), in Manchester was accused / convicted of using the communal coffee spoon to stir pot noodles / instant soup / similar. The word 'spooncrime' was written on the their whiteboard. We liked the word so much that we used it for the name of a hamster.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Good heavens. You're the first proof I've ever seen that Dr Strabismus (whose name I may spell wrongly, as I've never seen it written down) exists outside of my parents' heads.

I assume the internet would provide further evidence, but it's not something I've ever (yet) thought to google.

Can you believe they wiped this?

[celestialweasel.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_of_Beachcomber

"Odd inventions explained by Dr. Strabismus (whom God preserve) of Utrecht (Spike Milligan with a high quavering German accent)."

[compilerbitch.livejournal.com]

I do appreciate a good rant, and yours was the best I've seen in a while. :-)

[crouchinglynx.livejournal.com]

www.driversrevenge.com (http://www.driversrevenge.com/) may be of use for the first two items. Then again, it's possible that whoever registered the domain name thinks that other types of road user don't count.

[jackiesjottings.livejournal.com]

So all in all... not a good Friday :((

I get cross with Sainsbury's local asking you if you want a bag if you go in, for, say, 1 banana. No no no no no. surey they should be discouraging people from taking yet another bag.

I hit the delete key rather a lot on the iPad discussion too....

[juggzy.livejournal.com]

* Miso soup. It's cheap, it always looks/sounds like a really good idea, it tastes like rancid dishwater.

Amen.

[qatsi.livejournal.com]

presumably trying to get me to pay extra for recorded delivery

Actually, Recorded Delivery doesn't guarantee it will get there any sooner - you need Special Delivery for that, which is rather a lot more expensive.

As far as I can tell, the iPad is just an iPhone for Dom Joly.