Far to go / loving and giving

[j4]

This Sunday I'm running in the Town & Gown 10k again, in aid of Muscular Dystrophy. About 5 of my colleagues are running too, and I don't think any of them are trying to raise sponsorship at all -- for them it's purely about the running. I found this surprising, but perhaps I'm just naive and lots of people take that attitude -- if so, how do these events actually make any money for the charities? (Do some people raise so much sponsorship that it makes up for it?) I can sympathise with a certain degree of embarrassment in asking people to sponsor you -- I don't find it easy, and certainly when it's a regular thing there's a sense that people are probably rolling their eyes and thinking oh no, here we go again. But if I really couldn't bear it, I wouldn't enter charity events! Or I'd just sponsor myself to the tune of £50 or so and accept that as the price of taking part. :-} I just worry that the whole thing is a really inefficient way of raising money for anything, and it's just a sop to middle-class guilt, and I'd be better writing a cheque to the charity and not wasting other people's time by asking them for money. The more I think about the whole "get sponsored to do things" model, the more absurd it seems. Mind you, the more I think about anything the more I just unravel it. Perhaps I should do a sponsored not-thinking-about-anything-for-a-day in aid of an Existentialist society or something.

But I am weary, weary, weary of being constantly made fun of by colleagues for trying to do the right thing, for trying to think about what the right thing is in situations, for trying not to be selfish; I am tired of getting snide comments like "oh you're so virtuous" and "I'm just not such a good person as you" in response to anything I say about anything I do. I don't want to preach and I try not to come across as preaching (though I do question and debate rather than just pretending to agree with things that I don't agree with), I don't think I'm particularly "good", I certainly don't think I'm "better" than other people as a person, in fact most of the time I think I'm a big heap of fail and I struggle to stay motivated to do anything. I don't think people are innately "good" or "evil", I think it's all about actions and patterns of action and choices, and you can't necessarily infer anything from the information you have about one person's choice in one situation. Obviously I think some choices are 'better' (which is almost always a relative judgement rather than an absolute) than others, otherwise how would I ever decide to do anything? But I don't even think I make relatively-good decisions more than average (how the heck would anybody measure that anyway?), I think I try hard but (as in most things) I feel as though I work harder than some to compensate for finding things harder.

But there's a whole nother blog post in there (a book, really) about trying to get things right, about guilt and blame, about fail and win, about the unfashionability of morals and the mess we've replaced them with, which I'm probably never going to have the time or energy to write.

Anyway ... in the unlikely event that you still want to sponsor me after all that angst, my online sponsorship form is here (they're officially endorsing online sponsorship this time, which is definitely progress!), & I will be very grateful indeed (because, at the risk of sounding cheesy, it does make the running seem more worthwhile, even though these days everybody's given the money before the run, so the original model sort of doesn't work any more). And if you don't, that's fine, & I promise I'm not judging you for it in any way! (Saying that makes me feel like people will think I'm saying it because I am judging and want to deny it, but honestly, no, just no. Let me at least be the owner of my own thoughts.)

Comments

[simont]

The more I think about the whole "get sponsored to do things" model, the more absurd it seems.

I've always thought that. But the absurd bit is the fact that so many people are prepared to sponsor people, or in other words that so many people can be more easily persuaded to donate more money to charity if somebody is doing something bizarre and unrelated. Given that inexplicable truth, it makes perfect sense to take advantage of it :-)

[gnimmel.livejournal.com]

But there's a whole nother blog post in there (a book, really) about trying to get things right, about guilt and blame, about fail and win, about the unfashionability of morals and the mess we've replaced them with, which I'm probably never going to have the time or energy to write.

I would be interested in reading it, if you ever do get the time.

I watched some adverts a coulple of weekends, after a long period of not watching adverts (visiting parents) and I was struck by how much the language of advertising is about being naughty, and giving in to temptation, and the whole general you deserve to be selfish idea. On and on and on. Of course you can then absolve your sins with some cleansing yoghurt.

[nja.livejournal.com]

I have just sponsored you, but in return I expect you to run round the course wearing a judge's wig and robes.

Our dept. administrator is doing something similar, and she just stuck the link in her email signature - last time I looked she had raised twice her target.

Sponsorship's odd. My father used to refuse to participate in sponsored events, he would just arrange a bit of overtime and give that money instead, because he said he could make more money for less effort that way. So really, sponsoring someone to do something they would have done anyway is possibly better - it's saying "here's some money, have a good time", rather than "I expect you to earn this". If you want to give money to something you think is valuable, why should you also want to make someone run round Oxford in a judge's wig (unless they want to)?

Back when I was a charity trustee we had a big annual sponsored walk and would raise tens of thousands of pounds, but if all the people who participated (including the organisation team) just dipped their hands in their pockets, I bet we would have made a similar amount for far less effort (when we had a new fundraiser who didn't see the Leicester Mercury as the ENEMY, a straightforward Christmas appeal raised as much money as the walk ever had, to the disgruntlement of the trustee who ran the walk).

[celestialweasel.livejournal.com]

I think the working assumption with races is that a percentage (probably a majority) of people are doing it for the race and won't raise any money. I assume the people running them know what that percentage is going to be. I think the entries fees are intended to cover the running costs with a decent contingency and a small profit for the charity. t__m__i probably knows all the politics etc. of it in more detail.
The Town And Gown is quite unusual in that it seems very much 'branded' as the charity i.e. it is on their website etc. and is presumably run by them.
Although, say, the Reading 1/2 has official charities it isn't branded the same way, and it is run by a local running shop.
Really big races are run by a permanent company, most smaller runs are run by running clubs.

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

"I am weary, weary, weary of being constantly made fun of by colleagues for trying to do the right thing, for trying to think about what the right thing is in situations, for trying not to be selfish; I am tired of getting snide comments like "oh you're so virtuous" "

Despite your self-doubts, I think that was very well said. It was the bit that made me want to actually donate, rather than feel vaguely like maybe I should one of these days, but it was all too complicated :)

[sebastienne.livejournal.com]

(this comment brought to you by severe sleep-deprivation; I make no promises about sense or coherence)

But I am weary, weary, weary of being constantly made fun of by colleagues for trying to do the right thing, for trying to think about what the right thing is in situations, for trying not to be selfish; I am tired of getting snide comments like "oh you're so virtuous"

I get this, so much. When I started my new job people were doing it over the fact that I *reuse waste paper & envelopes*, FFS! There are some people around whom I cannot order meat-free food without a rant about how I'm so good and they could never...

The way I tend to think about it is that it's their guilt talking. They know on some level that they should be living more reflective and considerate lives, but they can't quite be bothered, or they have overriding concerns; so when we remind them that it is possible - even make it look easy by integrating it into the fabric of our lives - we make them feel so very guilty.

Which is stupid - the gods know I can be selfish and lazy with the best of them - I don't think that I'm better than anyone, or that anyone has any reason to feel guilty around me; I just do the thing that seems best in the situation that I'm in. If I have any virtue at all, it's just pathological overthinking!

[redbird]

The whole model seems profoundly weird to me: there's no meaningful connection between the activity and the donation. It's not like, say, a benefit concert, which raises money because performers donate their fees (and sometimes the hall etc. is also donated), and the money is there because people want to hear that band or see that play. They may pay more for tickets, figuring it's for a good cause, but at base, I give them money, they give me a show. Few of the people sponsoring someone in that run are going to go out and watch, I suspect.

But at least you're going out to do something you actually enjoy; the weird ones are the things where people agree to pay people to do things that don't benefit anyone and don't appeal to the doers--someone jumping rope for a cause who really dislikes rope-jumping, say.

Someone mentioned charity shops. Those, again, in addition to raising money and producing awareness, are selling something people want. A charity shop got C$7.50 from me for someone's old coat. That's their benefit. I've been happily wearing that coat in late autumn and early spring for the last few years. Everyone wins.

[rmc28]

I commented to my colleague that I felt strange asking people for money, and he said that he and his dad basically just donated £50 each on top of their entry fees last time they entered a charity run.

If I am fool enough to do the MoonWalk again, I think I might be tempted by that approach. Otoh I quite liked the person who just stuck the link in a signature ... thoughts for another time.

[vinaigrettegirl.livejournal.com]

Yes to being weary of being snarked at for trying to do the right thing, oh yes.

I shall sponsor you after supper.

Thinking about your colleagues and their ilk and old ox.net lags, let me give you a tip: don't put a charity envelope through the letter box of anyone who had named their house Apocalypse View with stick-on metal letters. It's a nonstarter and you'll be invited to an argument as well.

We leave little behind us besides love and having done the right thing.. Keep up the good work and do not be downhearted.

[lishablog.livejournal.com]

((hugs))

You just keep being the you that you want to be, and let other people's comments roll off your back like water off a duck.

[monkeyhands.livejournal.com]

My personal etiquette says that once a year is about right to ask people to sponsor you for something. Every six months is pushing it and every three months is probably going to annoy people.

Other factors affecting the "is it too soon for moar sponsorship?" question: whether you keep asking the same small group of people or different people, whether you repeat the same sponsored activity or do something different, how difficult the sponsored activity is, how well-off your sponsorers are, whether your emails asking for sponsorship are spelt and punctuated properly and whether or not you're FLYING TO FUCKING IRELAND to do the sponsored thing.

As for people who run the race without sponsorship, I guess that's because there aren't many amateur races that don't have some kind of charity/sponsorship thing going on. So if you just want to see how well you do in a race, you basically have to run a charity race and then ignore the charity dimension. Also, if you run a lot of races, your friends will get tired of being asked for sponsorship every time.