Etiquette question

[j4]

If someone invites you to a party, and the invitation doesn't say "bring partners" (but does imply that it's okay to bring friends), and your partners are not on the invite list in their own right, is it rude to email and ask whether it's okay to bring partners? Would it be rude (even ruder?) to just bring partners anyway (on the basis that they are my friends as well)? Or should one assume that if the partners in question were welcome in the first place, they would have been on the invite list?

Comments

[simont]

A lot of this has been said already, but...

• I think that it would be very weird for anyone to put out a party invite in which they allowed people to bring friends but would rather they didn't bring partners. I suppose there might be rare exceptions for strange types of party (a bitter-singles party at which they didn't want people being couply, perhaps?); but if nothing else, each guest's partner is likely to be a friend to other guests, so if friends of the guests are generally welcome then they're probably included.
  
• One should certainly not attempt to draw subtle hints from the presence or absence of people on the invite list. A great many party organisers are barely worthy of the term "organiser" :-) Never attribute to malice, &c.
  
• If you're still in doubt, I'm certain the "damage" from asking for clarification would be a lot less than the potential damage from making the wrong guess.