Etiquette question

[j4]

If someone invites you to a party, and the invitation doesn't say "bring partners" (but does imply that it's okay to bring friends), and your partners are not on the invite list in their own right, is it rude to email and ask whether it's okay to bring partners? Would it be rude (even ruder?) to just bring partners anyway (on the basis that they are my friends as well)? Or should one assume that if the partners in question were welcome in the first place, they would have been on the invite list?

Comments

[ottah.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking that it might put the host in the awkward position of having to say "No, you can't bring your partner, because [unpleasant reasons]", when they were perhaps hoping to avoid that by merely not inviting them

If such was the situation, it would surely fall to the host to request that said person does not attend...yes. it's awkward but at least it's an honest approach and saves on stresses later/at the party.

Si and I tend to post a list and then ask people to just let us know if they're planning to bring along anyone (partner/friend/goldfish) whose not on the list...that seems to rule out bad surprises.

There are currently 2 people barred from ChezBOFH - Ingvar for his behaviour towards female guests and threatening me in my house and the ex of a very close and old friend of mine. Just in case anyone was thinking of bringing either along (as the world is sooooooo small), it's nice to get an early heads up about who's coming.

I tend to email or phone people first before taking along someone who's not on an invite list...I think it's polite and I prefer not to assume that +X is implied on an invite. *hugs*