Days of whine and grouses

[j4]

If you're likely to get annoyed with me for whining, do us both a favour and look away now.

Fed up with work, both in the microcosm (things going wrong with the actual work) and the macrocosm (the job itself is fucking tedious). Fed up with feeling like this about it; I feel like I ought to be able to just put up with it and make the best of a crap job because it's probably the best I'm ever going to have. At this rate probably the only job I'm ever going to have, since when they fire me (as they inevitably will) I'll have no references as well as no experience.

Fed up with pointless arguments on email; after today's exchanges I'm almost looking forward to not being able to email at all in working hours. It might make things easier. As it is I just seem to spend the entire day feeling miserable when emails are terse and disinterested, and feeling paranoid and stressed when emails aren't forthcoming at all.

Fed up with not being able to talk about relationships, whether they're going well or not; there's no-one with whom I can share the fears and doubts, or enthuse about the good bits. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a vacuum. Though actually I know I'm living in a huge messy house full of broken things, and that's another thing that I'm fed up with, I don't feel at home there, I don't feel I can make it my home. I don't feel it's ever going to be the place I dreamed it was going to be.

I want to go home, and I don't know where home is. I feel like crying, but if I start I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to stop.

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

not only Director of Shiny Things, but also Comforter of Kitten-like-things, and Reader of Bedtime Stories, and Fixer of Broken Things, and Player of Interesting Games, and Listener to Whinges, and Buyer of Sensible School Shoes, and Driver of Parental Taxi, and Dictator Responsible for Making People Eat Vegetables, and all sort of other great stuff.
Not touching on the wider issues today (sorry honey, too tired for logical thought and reassurance, but have some hugs anyway), but I just wanted to ask if I can pinch this for my 'job description' should I ever need one?

And any time you want some space and the opportunity to do the Comforting-Kitten-Like-Things, shout and you can have a spare bed (after the beginning of Sept, since we are Being Visited pretty much constantly before that I'm afraid). You WILL be pressed into Feeding The Very Hungry Caterpillar though...

[imc.livejournal.com]

Just as long as you don't make me eat any vegetables! :-)

Oh, and making use of the spare bed might involve being prepared to sleep in a room with a load of boxes (not that bad - I did it the other week when my parents were here). But then, that room is almost wall-to-wall books, so perhaps that's a good thing.

(Now if we were in an income bracket which allowed us to hire a nanny. . .)

[j4.livejournal.com]

<grin> I don't make everybody eat vegetables. But you should eat some, you know!

Oh, and making use of the spare bed might involve being prepared to sleep in a room with a load of boxes

No probs. Done it before anyway!

(Now if we were in an income bracket which allowed us to hire a nanny. . .)

Heh. (How much do nannies get paid, JOOI?)

[imc.livejournal.com]

(How much do nannies get paid, JOOI?)

Search me.

(Hmm, good idea. <google><google>)

A Mother's Help would be looking at between £130 to £180+ per week. Nannies, £210+. (http://www.academyagency.co.uk/neednanny.html)

An unexperienced, i.e. less than 2 years childcare experience with no qualification would expect to earn somewhere in the region of £180-£200 per week net. Live-in positions are usually around £25-£30 per week lower. (http://www.cribs-nannyagency.co.uk/nannies.html)

[j4.livejournal.com]

Not touching on the wider issues today (sorry honey, too tired for logical thought and reassurance, but have some hugs anyway), but I just wanted to ask if I can pinch this for my 'job description' should I ever need one?

<grin> Of course! Huge amounts of sympathy on the tiredness front -- I know how tired I'm getting just from not being able to sleep properly in the heat, can only imagine what you must be going through... :-/

And thanks for offer of space; like I said to marnameow, will bear it in mind & am grateful for the thought, but getting places is kind of stressy (and costly). (However I will see you on Sunday!)

Oh, and I'd be delighted to feed the Very Hungry Caterpillar. :)