killing time
Sep. 22nd, 2003 06:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j4I hate job applications. I seem to be talking myself out of applying for most of the ones I was planning to apply for, and I'm not sure whether it's because I hate writing job applications or because they're really not worth applying for (or a bit of both, probably).
The Macmillan Cancer Research Fundraising Assistant post is the most annoying; I really wanted to apply for it because it seems the closest to a Good Thing out of the jobs I was going to apply for, but the more I look at the job description the more I feel like I'm hideously overqualified for it. I know that sounds disgustingly conceited, and I'm sorry, but they're asking for things like "at least one year in office environment", and "experience of ... use of office equipment", and (I know qualifications aren't that relevant any more, but) the only qualifications they require are GCSEs (or NVQ level 1 or 2). It seems bitterly ironic that I've spent so long desperately trying to write up my experience (which is pitiful in comparison to that of most graduates) into something that sounds employable so that I can apply for jobs I don't want to do, that now I can't talk it down enough for a job I do want to do.
The Refugee Legal Centre job is another Good Thing, but it's a lot worse paid than it looked originally -- the advert says something in the region of 20K, but it's actually more like 14K plus extra money for having to work most weekends and some evenings. Which would still be a not unreasonable wage but it's considerably less than I'm on now, for massively longer hours. (I now expect hundreds of people to follow up telling me that obviously I can't work for a Good Cause and have money / a social life. Okay, so I was naive in thinking I could do both.)
The Studio Cambridge (EFL school) job just has such a broken application form that I'm not sure I can face trying to fill it in. Yeah, yeah, I know, I should stop being so fucking snobbish and picky, and after all it's not as if my ability to produce reasonably-formatted text in Word has done me any good -- but I can't even get the text to stop displaying with lines on top of other lines, so I can't even read half of it.
It's just making me feel miserable and panicky and hopeless as fucking usual, with the added panic that I definitely don't have anything resembling a real job after the end of this month. And meanwhile Gawen's still full of mad ideas -- the latest one today was that the people who ProQuest can't afford to employ any more should go and start their own "data solutions" company, so that ProQuest can outsource to them and it won't cost ProQuest as much.
I just want to give up on the whole thing. At best the job I get now is only killing time until I do what I really want to do with my life ... but I just wish I could shake the fear that that's never going to happen, and actually I'm just killing time until, well, time kills me.
The Macmillan Cancer Research Fundraising Assistant post is the most annoying; I really wanted to apply for it because it seems the closest to a Good Thing out of the jobs I was going to apply for, but the more I look at the job description the more I feel like I'm hideously overqualified for it. I know that sounds disgustingly conceited, and I'm sorry, but they're asking for things like "at least one year in office environment", and "experience of ... use of office equipment", and (I know qualifications aren't that relevant any more, but) the only qualifications they require are GCSEs (or NVQ level 1 or 2). It seems bitterly ironic that I've spent so long desperately trying to write up my experience (which is pitiful in comparison to that of most graduates) into something that sounds employable so that I can apply for jobs I don't want to do, that now I can't talk it down enough for a job I do want to do.
The Refugee Legal Centre job is another Good Thing, but it's a lot worse paid than it looked originally -- the advert says something in the region of 20K, but it's actually more like 14K plus extra money for having to work most weekends and some evenings. Which would still be a not unreasonable wage but it's considerably less than I'm on now, for massively longer hours. (I now expect hundreds of people to follow up telling me that obviously I can't work for a Good Cause and have money / a social life. Okay, so I was naive in thinking I could do both.)
The Studio Cambridge (EFL school) job just has such a broken application form that I'm not sure I can face trying to fill it in. Yeah, yeah, I know, I should stop being so fucking snobbish and picky, and after all it's not as if my ability to produce reasonably-formatted text in Word has done me any good -- but I can't even get the text to stop displaying with lines on top of other lines, so I can't even read half of it.
It's just making me feel miserable and panicky and hopeless as fucking usual, with the added panic that I definitely don't have anything resembling a real job after the end of this month. And meanwhile Gawen's still full of mad ideas -- the latest one today was that the people who ProQuest can't afford to employ any more should go and start their own "data solutions" company, so that ProQuest can outsource to them and it won't cost ProQuest as much.
I just want to give up on the whole thing. At best the job I get now is only killing time until I do what I really want to do with my life ... but I just wish I could shake the fear that that's never going to happen, and actually I'm just killing time until, well, time kills me.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 12:54 pm (UTC)I used to wrangle Word for a living (advanced MS-taught stuff) - is the broken form available online or did you get it in email?
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Date: 2003-09-22 02:24 pm (UTC)It doesn't say so explicitly but I assume it must. It's not clear when that time can be taken, though, or anything like that. I just feel like I've been stuck in a miserable job for so long with only my social life to stop me going mad, that the prospect of potentially ending up in a miserable job with no social life to keep me going just makes me feel ill.
is the broken form available online or did you get it in email?
I got it in email, and the attachment said something about how it was fast-saved several times and stuff might have been lost, so I guess that's it.
To be honest though I do tend to feel that if they can't be arsed making an application form that works, I can't be arsed applying. I know that's my loss more than theirs, probably, and I know beggars can't be choosers, etc. etc., but I think my time and sanity is still worth something.
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Date: 2003-09-22 02:45 pm (UTC)I understand that, totally, but how does the prospect of potentially getting a fulfilling and interesting job make you feel? From what you've said elsewhere today your social life is so busy that you're booking way ahead now - so would booking ahead to work around a job be any worse? (Yes, I see that it could... but think positive!) It's unlikely that the extra hours would be at no notice, isn't it? So it shouldn't put that much of a crimp on your life, and if the job is worth doing... ICBW but this kind of job is probably something that will actually stretch you in the ways you want stretching (oo-err missus!), and that's worth focusing on, rather than the quack moo fear that is making you feel ill.
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Date: 2003-09-22 03:31 pm (UTC)Well, er, yes, it would. It wouldn't just be a question of "booking ahead", it'd be a question of not being able to go to weekend events outside Cambridge, not necessarily being able to go to stuff in Cambridge, etc. etc. A day off in lieu is all very well for going into town, but it's not much help when it's not the same day as the party you want to go to.
Also, doing "some evenings" would probably make it very hard to keep my evening commitments (orchestra and karate) as I wouldn't necessarily be able to guarantee being free on any given weeknight.
I just don't think I'd like it. I know lots of people do it, and like it, or at least don't have any problems with it; but I don't think I'd like it. I think in the state I'm in at the moment it'd turn me into a complete nervous wreck.
Am useless, sorry.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-22 03:35 pm (UTC)ICBW but this kind of job is probably something that will actually stretch you in the ways you want stretching
Not really. It's a clerical job. Okay, so it's a moderately tricky one -- you need three GCSEs for it rather than just Maths and English -- but essentially it's not likely to be terribly intellectually stretching; just emotionally tiring. Which I can do without really at the moment. :-/