killing time
Sep. 22nd, 2003 06:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j4I hate job applications. I seem to be talking myself out of applying for most of the ones I was planning to apply for, and I'm not sure whether it's because I hate writing job applications or because they're really not worth applying for (or a bit of both, probably).
The Macmillan Cancer Research Fundraising Assistant post is the most annoying; I really wanted to apply for it because it seems the closest to a Good Thing out of the jobs I was going to apply for, but the more I look at the job description the more I feel like I'm hideously overqualified for it. I know that sounds disgustingly conceited, and I'm sorry, but they're asking for things like "at least one year in office environment", and "experience of ... use of office equipment", and (I know qualifications aren't that relevant any more, but) the only qualifications they require are GCSEs (or NVQ level 1 or 2). It seems bitterly ironic that I've spent so long desperately trying to write up my experience (which is pitiful in comparison to that of most graduates) into something that sounds employable so that I can apply for jobs I don't want to do, that now I can't talk it down enough for a job I do want to do.
The Refugee Legal Centre job is another Good Thing, but it's a lot worse paid than it looked originally -- the advert says something in the region of 20K, but it's actually more like 14K plus extra money for having to work most weekends and some evenings. Which would still be a not unreasonable wage but it's considerably less than I'm on now, for massively longer hours. (I now expect hundreds of people to follow up telling me that obviously I can't work for a Good Cause and have money / a social life. Okay, so I was naive in thinking I could do both.)
The Studio Cambridge (EFL school) job just has such a broken application form that I'm not sure I can face trying to fill it in. Yeah, yeah, I know, I should stop being so fucking snobbish and picky, and after all it's not as if my ability to produce reasonably-formatted text in Word has done me any good -- but I can't even get the text to stop displaying with lines on top of other lines, so I can't even read half of it.
It's just making me feel miserable and panicky and hopeless as fucking usual, with the added panic that I definitely don't have anything resembling a real job after the end of this month. And meanwhile Gawen's still full of mad ideas -- the latest one today was that the people who ProQuest can't afford to employ any more should go and start their own "data solutions" company, so that ProQuest can outsource to them and it won't cost ProQuest as much.
I just want to give up on the whole thing. At best the job I get now is only killing time until I do what I really want to do with my life ... but I just wish I could shake the fear that that's never going to happen, and actually I'm just killing time until, well, time kills me.
The Macmillan Cancer Research Fundraising Assistant post is the most annoying; I really wanted to apply for it because it seems the closest to a Good Thing out of the jobs I was going to apply for, but the more I look at the job description the more I feel like I'm hideously overqualified for it. I know that sounds disgustingly conceited, and I'm sorry, but they're asking for things like "at least one year in office environment", and "experience of ... use of office equipment", and (I know qualifications aren't that relevant any more, but) the only qualifications they require are GCSEs (or NVQ level 1 or 2). It seems bitterly ironic that I've spent so long desperately trying to write up my experience (which is pitiful in comparison to that of most graduates) into something that sounds employable so that I can apply for jobs I don't want to do, that now I can't talk it down enough for a job I do want to do.
The Refugee Legal Centre job is another Good Thing, but it's a lot worse paid than it looked originally -- the advert says something in the region of 20K, but it's actually more like 14K plus extra money for having to work most weekends and some evenings. Which would still be a not unreasonable wage but it's considerably less than I'm on now, for massively longer hours. (I now expect hundreds of people to follow up telling me that obviously I can't work for a Good Cause and have money / a social life. Okay, so I was naive in thinking I could do both.)
The Studio Cambridge (EFL school) job just has such a broken application form that I'm not sure I can face trying to fill it in. Yeah, yeah, I know, I should stop being so fucking snobbish and picky, and after all it's not as if my ability to produce reasonably-formatted text in Word has done me any good -- but I can't even get the text to stop displaying with lines on top of other lines, so I can't even read half of it.
It's just making me feel miserable and panicky and hopeless as fucking usual, with the added panic that I definitely don't have anything resembling a real job after the end of this month. And meanwhile Gawen's still full of mad ideas -- the latest one today was that the people who ProQuest can't afford to employ any more should go and start their own "data solutions" company, so that ProQuest can outsource to them and it won't cost ProQuest as much.
I just want to give up on the whole thing. At best the job I get now is only killing time until I do what I really want to do with my life ... but I just wish I could shake the fear that that's never going to happen, and actually I'm just killing time until, well, time kills me.
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Date: 2003-09-23 02:35 am (UTC)Me too. It sounds like a Good Thing. And only-in-term-time wouldn't be so bad; I mean, students get temp work in the hols so I'd just have to do that. But it is pitifully badly paid anyway.
(It seems unfair that people who write software to help other software developers write their software a little bit faster get paid enormous amounts of money, while people who help children learn to read and write get paid a pittance.)
And how is it going to get me any closer to doing whatever it is I really want to do? And how do I find out what that is?
I don't know how you find out what it is, but you could do worse than by elimination -- try things and slowly work out what you don't want to do. I mean, I applied for this job because it was in Cambridge and it needed a degree, and I had a degree and wanted to be in Cambridge. (My degree was even slightly relevant to it, which was a bonus.) And from doing this job I've discovered that a) I don't really want to work in the commercial sector; b) I quite like working with corduroy-trousered academics, and not having a dress-code at work; c) I don't mind doing routine work so long as I feel that it's useful; d) I can live on this amount of money, I could live on less, but I'd be happier with a bit more. They're all useful things to know about what I want to do.
Though what I really want to do is have a big family and bake cakes. :)
And how do I know I'm not going to end up doing something grey in an office for years and years and wear pinstriped skirts and uncomfortable heels and cut my hair into one of those practical hairstyles?
The pinstriped skirts and heels and stuff is just dressing-up, as far as I'm concerned. It's every bit as much a costume thing as huge flouncy black lace ballgowns, or 15-inch platform shoes, or Sailor Moon outfits. :-)
You don't have to do a grey office job if you don't want to -- though I think it's useful to be able to conform if/when you want/need to, which is why I haven't dyed my hair mad colours or anything. There are lots of jobs out there. ... Wish I knew how to get them, though. <sigh>
They had A4 sheets in the window headed JOB'S with vacancies for KNOCKER'S on them.
<giggle>
That's dreadful! But dreadfully funny as well. And I'm desperately trying to resist saying that you'd be good at a job that required talent in the KNOCKER'S department. ;) (Damn!)
I keep meaning to highlight all the mistakes in the local paper and post it back to their offices saying "Will proofread for cash". But I haven't got round to it yet, and they'd probably just ignore it anyway.