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j4I'm supposed to be writing job applications, but the application form is appalling. For a start, the job description for two supposedly different positions are identical, so I'm just going to have to apply for both and let them decide which (if either) they think I'm best suited to. Other than that -- well, I suppose the typos are forgivable, although "You should note that each of the questions is equally important thought into each of them" made me laugh; but that's not the end of it. In addition to the usual "please cram everything you have done in the last 10 years into our badly-formatted table" sections, there are four questions where you have to demonstrate your competence in the following areas:
For each of these, you have to give just one example of a thing you've done which demonstrates competence in the relevant area; each answer has to be no more than 250 words long. The example answer they give, demonstrating competence in the area ofWhat I Did On My HolidaysWorking Together, is excruciating:
Anyway, it's taken me the best part of an hour to do one of them, and about 40 minutes of that was spent trying to hack it down to the word-limit while still actually explaining the (fairly technical) examples from my current job so that they make sense. The whole thing is irritating me so much that I'm not even sure I want to work for these people anyway, if the application process is representative of their general competence; but I can't help feeling that beggars can't be choosers. (Okay, so I'm not a beggar yet, but my current job is hardly secure, and besides, it's slowly sapping my will to live.) Still trying to buckle down to doing it but my motivation seems to be at an all-time low.
* * *
The only positive thing to come out of this so far, in fact, is the result of extreme procrastination -- which has led me to rip a handful more CDs (though I'm not doing anything like the wholesale process that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
simont has been indulging in), and to create a couple of rather cute Miffy pictures.
I should do more of this kind of thing, it's remarkably therapeutic. (I would have made goth peg-dollies but I didn't have any pipe-cleaners for their arms. I think a trip to Heffers Art Shop is indicated.)
- Delivering to customers
- Working Together
- Planning and organising
- Communicating with customers and others
For each of these, you have to give just one example of a thing you've done which demonstrates competence in the relevant area; each answer has to be no more than 250 words long. The example answer they give, demonstrating competence in the area of
"As a member of the University hockey team, we were planning an end of term party. My role was to help plan and organise the party, which we wanted to have on the last day of term -only 3 weeks away.After 11 years of trying (with, I like to think, some success) to develop beyond that kind of simple (not to say simplistic) narrative style, I'm finding it difficult to go back to it, particularly in a context where I'd normally write in a more formal register.
To ensure that everybody was involved, we all met up in the Students Union to discuss ideas for the party. After everybody had contributed suggestions we took a vote and decided on a 70's night for all the University sports teams.
We then decided as a team all the tasks that needed to be done. I took the role of writing the list so that we had a record of all the tasks that everyone could see. We then each volunteered to do a task, mine was to arrange an appropriate venue.
We decided to have a brief meeting every two days at lunchtime so that we could find out how the arrangements were progressing. I wrote down all the details so that we had a record of exactly who was doing what. Unfortunately, the day before the party, the DJ cancelled and we realised that we wouldn't be able to get another one in time. The girl that had arranged the DJ was very upset. I took some time to console her and I arranged a meeting immediately to decide what to do. We made the decision to pull all our disco records together, borrow my friend's decks, and do the 70's disco ourselves! All feedback was positive."
Anyway, it's taken me the best part of an hour to do one of them, and about 40 minutes of that was spent trying to hack it down to the word-limit while still actually explaining the (fairly technical) examples from my current job so that they make sense. The whole thing is irritating me so much that I'm not even sure I want to work for these people anyway, if the application process is representative of their general competence; but I can't help feeling that beggars can't be choosers. (Okay, so I'm not a beggar yet, but my current job is hardly secure, and besides, it's slowly sapping my will to live.) Still trying to buckle down to doing it but my motivation seems to be at an all-time low.
* * *
The only positive thing to come out of this so far, in fact, is the result of extreme procrastination -- which has led me to rip a handful more CDs (though I'm not doing anything like the wholesale process that
simont has been indulging in), and to create a couple of rather cute Miffy pictures. I should do more of this kind of thing, it's remarkably therapeutic. (I would have made goth peg-dollies but I didn't have any pipe-cleaners for their arms. I think a trip to Heffers Art Shop is indicated.)
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 10:35 am (UTC)However, I do understand the need to change jobs, so good luck.
Miffy: I /love/ the Miffies! Fancy doing me a pregnant Miffy?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 11:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 11:20 am (UTC)The main problem with a breastfeeding Miffy is that, er, Miffy doesn't actually have any tits. I know you can see her nipples on the one with the bikini-top above, but really, she's as flat as a board. Probably because she's meant to be ABOUT FIVE YEARS OLD, you sick freaks. :-P
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 12:24 pm (UTC)Anyway, put the ickle baby wabbit in front in a cradle hold and you don't need to see any breasts.
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Date: 2003-09-07 01:18 pm (UTC)Thank goodness!
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Date: 2003-09-07 01:41 pm (UTC)I didn't mean to be rude about flat-chested women, anyway, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone. But don't they (breasts, I mean, not women -- well, women as well, but specifically breasts -- eh, you know what I mean) kind of grow a bit fuller anyway when you're producing milk? And none of this changes the fact that Miffy's only a small kid, & therefore not likely to be having babies of her own any time soon. ... Am I getting too concerned about details here?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 01:51 pm (UTC)Anyhoo, yes, they do generally get slightly fuller (FVVO 'slightly'), but I didn't mean that you were being rude anyway, just that Miffy's apparent lack of embonpoint was not a particular barrier to breastfeeding. Admittedly her age could be, but I've never really thought of Miffy as having any age at all. If anything, since she was clearly a little kid when my brother was reading the books (I never did, but we've bought some for T) she's at least in her mid-twenties or older now. :-D And she could grow up to look just like that anyhow.
Oh, and the part of my brain which stores really useless/irritating information informs me that the youngest mother on record was five. (Ick!)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 02:08 pm (UTC)Urrrghhh. How? I mean, I know that there's that weird condition where kids can start puberty as young as four, but ... no, actually, I don't want to know. Shudder. :-(
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 02:17 pm (UTC)Nor me, neither.
Information wants to be free
Date: 2003-09-08 05:09 am (UTC)Re: Information wants to be free
Date: 2003-09-08 05:27 am (UTC)What they don't say is who actually got her pregnant, and how, and whether he had any recognisable body parts left when the girl's family had finished with him. (There are some kinks that are NOT okay.)
Re: Information wants to be free
Date: 2003-09-08 07:13 am (UTC)Re: Information wants to be free
Date: 2003-09-08 07:36 am (UTC)It was probably someone in her own family -- the majority of sexual abuse of children is perpetrated by family members, sadly. And a kid that old is hardly going to be wandering around much on her own, or going off and meeting nasty men from Internet chatrooms.
(Although I guess mistaking a five-year-old randomly bashing the keyboard for an above-average AOLer would be understandable...)
Re: Information wants to be free
Date: 2003-09-08 07:57 am (UTC)The source I cited decorously leaves out the cause of impregnation, but for the next record (youngest vaginal birth - 6 1/2 years old, baby died) says that the mother was 'seduced' by a sexagenarian relative.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 01:58 pm (UTC)Oh, I used to be. Not that it worried me - it's very easy to run without boobs. These days I spend a fair bit of time cupping my boobs in my hands when I run. Well, not these days, these days I don't run at all. But I do enjoy having a cleavage!
And you'd be hard-pushed not to have looked, if you've been watching the website, let alone seeing me wander around my house in very little!
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 02:13 pm (UTC)Well, obviously I saw, but I didn't look, if you see what I mean. Er, that is, I didn't try to look, but that's not to say that I didn't want to, I mean, because, you're definitely nice to look at. Not that I was looking, you know, just, er. So it's not that I wanted to not look at you, but more that ... er, what I mean, is ... er, gosh.
Um. Hello!
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Date: 2003-09-07 02:18 pm (UTC)I'm sorry, I appear to have flustered you. It was unintentional. For the most part...
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Date: 2003-09-07 02:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 01:40 am (UTC)No you didn't.
Small, but perfectly formed.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 04:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 05:19 am (UTC)Not so much looking as, well, look... I saw, OK?
Mmmm. Lovely.
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Date: 2003-09-08 05:30 am (UTC)Yes, but it's okay for you, because you're a BOY. Boys are expected to ogle beautiful women. :-)
Mmmm. Lovely.
Rather! ... You know, that whole cupping-breasts-in-hands-while-running thing that
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Date: 2003-09-08 07:15 am (UTC)And, of course, it would mean running, and I've given that up for the duration.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 07:18 am (UTC)Except by their wives1? :-)
Do you think she wants minions to do that sort of thing for her?
It sounds awfully impractical.
1girlfriends, boyfriends, partners, . . . - not to mention those of the women being ogled (oh it's all so complicated!).
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Date: 2003-09-08 07:23 am (UTC)> Except by their wives1? :-)
"I'm ogled, and so is my wife."
no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 07:43 am (UTC)Of course, that doesn't mean one can't tease the ogler!
no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 08:06 am (UTC)Hmmm. Does that mean that neither of you ever actually fancies other people? Or that you don't mind your boy ogling other women so long as it's only in a kind of "Speaking purely aesthetically, I think she's very pretty" sense? Does he mind you ogling other men? Just curious...
Might just have wear my shiny Bridget-Riley-esque t-shirt at the weekend -- that way everybody has an excuse to look at my chest, but they'll get a headache1 if they do it for too long. :-)
1Or go blind.
Of course, that doesn't mean one can't tease the ogler!
Bah. <pout> <grin>
no subject
Date: 2003-09-09 12:34 am (UTC)Rapunzel does a good line in pouting when I point out an attractive chap but it's a put-on (as far as I can tell, of course).
no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 07:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 07:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-08 07:41 am (UTC)I've been leered at by Hoiho before. It makes me giggle.
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Date: 2003-09-08 08:08 am (UTC)m3 t00...
It makes me giggle.
I think it's rather sweet. :-) <pats
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Date: 2003-09-09 02:36 pm (UTC)Laughing all the way to the bedroom.
Well, that's the plan...
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Date: 2003-09-10 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 10:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 11:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 11:36 am (UTC)Now all I need is a badge-making machine. (I keep meaning to buy one, actually.)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-07 12:16 pm (UTC)Job application
Date: 2003-09-11 05:57 am (UTC)The employer may be able to give some helpful descriptions of the meaning of the competencies (and if it is my employer, the 'levels' of each competency that is required for the post you are applying for) that should prompt you to provide sensible evidence.
When you are offered an interview for this employer, you need to make sure that you have thought about any other examples that illustrate these competencies, as the interview will focus on the four areas above.
If you follow this up, I can give further suggestions if desired.