Displacement

[j4]

I can't seem to do anything. There's plenty of things I should be doing, but instead I'm just faffing around, half tidying things, moving things from one room to another, and constantly coming back to the computer so I can check that I still haven't got any new email.

There's people I want to email, too, people whom I haven't emailed for ages, but I don't know what to say, except "hello", and it always just turns into apologies for the fact that I haven't emailed them for so long, and I feel the need to explain why I haven't emailed for so long, which turns into whining, and then they won't want to hear from me at all.

I feel so empty inside. Tired of crying all the time, tired of being so tired. I don't want to do anything. I just want to go back to bed and sleep for a million years.

Comments

[perdita-fysh.livejournal.com]

That's probably not the best thing to do. Sleep deprivation causes the serotonin receptors to work more (or something) causing a similar effect to Prozac etc so if you're feeling depressed it's probably better to get slightly less sleep than usual rather than more.

Or something.

I read it in a book so it must be true!

[j4.livejournal.com]

slightly less sleep than usual

Less sleep? I get an average of about 5 hours of unbroken sleep a night. Plus another couple of hours in bits and pieces of fitful sleep, being half-awake, dozing, etc.

Also given that Prozac and various other SSRIs have only ever succeeded in giving me unpleasant side-effects, I'm not sure I want to try to replicate their effects in an even more uncontrolled manner.

[juliet]

Stress/depression does tend to screw your sleep up :-/

Have you tried 5HTP as a sleeping aid? It's a serotonin precursor - I have a bottle of tablets because they're recommended for taking to avoid E-comedown, but they're sold as a mild sedative. shadow_jess found it to work well, & she's had sleep problems for a very long time now. (mind you, probably wouldn't work long-term, cos you tend to get accustomed to things. Might be worth trying as a once-off, though). I don't get side-effects off it, & I tend not to get on well with either herbal or prescribed sleeping tablets.

[j4.livejournal.com]

Never tried 5HTP. Never even heard of it -- is it widely available? I used to find that the Tesco herbal SleepAid things worked quite well, but I didn't want to keep on taking them all the time, even if they are just lettuce and stuff; besides, they don't tend to work if I'm just too stressed to sleep anyway.

What usually happens is that I faff around because I don't feel tired, and because I'm putting off lying-awake-thinking-and-stressing-about-stuff, and then suddenly it's 2am or 3am and I know it'll still take me ages to get to sleep, but I absolutely have to try by then otherwise I'll never get up for work, but I'm stressed and still-awake and I can't get to sleep.

I really do just want to sleep for years. And maybe when I woke up everything would have sorted itself out. It's not as if I'm doing anything useful by remaining awake.

[juliet]

Holland & Barrett sell it, so I guess it's fairly widely available.

I presume you know/have tried all the standard suggestions for sleeping - bath & warm milky drink before bedtime, having a destressing routine (calming book or whatever for half an hour before trying to sleep), that sort of thing. I find that getting ready for bed, & then sitting reading or knitting for half an hour makes me more likely to go to sleep quicker, because my mind's started the winding-down process. Relaxation techniques also work well for me, but I know they don't for everyone.

I'd also be inclined, if I were you, to make a point of going to bed at a reasonable time (midnight, I guess), even if you don't feel tired. The lack of routine may be screwing up your ability to sleep more. Try it for a couple of weeks to give your brain a chance to get used to it (& expect it not to work so well for the first few nights - possibly using 5HTP or the lettuce pills or something might help with that?).

To be honest, if your sleep pattern is screwed, sleeping for ages might not help - you'll just confuse it further. Long-term, the ideal is to get into a regular pattern of sleeping 8 hrs or whatever per night - the trouble is getting there :-/ I've also read that if you have trouble with sleeping, sleeping in at weekends is a bad idea, because you confuse your brain.

Oh yes - & dropping caffeine entirely can help. I'm told that even only a bit of caffeine can have more of an effect than you would expect.

Er. Sorry, you probably know or have tried all that already, in which case my apologies!

[juliet]

Know what you mean about the faffing around. I'm feeling rather like that at work atm. Many things to do & no ability to start on any of them without getting sidetracked by nothing...

For the record, if I'm one of the people you were thinking of emailing, then: a) no need to apologise for not emailing; b) feel free to whinge at will if you want to, & not if you don't[0]; & c) christ, *my* emails never have Actual Content, I don't expect anyone else's to :-) (& if I'm not one of the aforementioned people, then, um, ignore the above, I guess. [waves hands around vaguely] )

[0] I have spent most of the last month bitching at length at anyone who will stand still for long enough. So I am certainly more than happy to be on the other end of such. It's karma. Or something. Anyway, people whinging doesn't make me not want to hear from them.

[j4.livejournal.com]

You weren't one of the specific people I had in mind when I wrote that, because most of them are people who aren't on LJ, and I feel so much more out of touch with people who aren't on LJ if I don't email them. IYSWIM. But on the other hand there's emails from you that I still haven't replied to, so if I wasn't feeling guilty about not emailing you I should have been probably.

Thank you for the offers of listening to me whining. I don't know if I want to whine at people, though. It doesn't help all that much really. But then nothing else helps either.

Oh I don't know. I'm all mixed up. I just want to hide under the duvet and cry. :-(

[juliet]

Oh goodness, don't feel guilty about not emailing me. After all, I'd only then take ages to email you back & then *I'd* feel guilty :-)

Anyway, offer of being whinged at open if wanted. I know what you mean about it not always helping, though. But sometimes even if it doesn't exactly *help*, it's better to get it out than not to. *hugs* & stuff, anyway. Sorry I can't help more :-(

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

Send me an email. Start with hello and apologise all you want (for anything) then whine away. I promise not to complain and then you can start the next email (to whoever) with all of that out of your system. Lor' knows I whine enough (in public), I can take some of it. ;-)

Big hugs. Much sympathy re the faffing, I feel like that but I'm not even managing from one room to another, just making piles of things for imc to move later except I forget to tell him that's what they're for and they don't get moved.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

You can't whine too much for me to want to hear from you.

Really.