You can only go so far in your mind
Feb. 12th, 2003 04:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j4Appointment with counsellor last night wasn't as bad as I'd expected in one sense, but was worse in another.
The woman I saw was easy to talk to, laughed at my jokes, commented on the BiCon t-shirt I was wearing as a lead-in to some questions about why I was depressed at school, was totally unfazed by poly stuff, seemed to be asking helpful questions. "This might actually be useful," I thought to myself. Then at the end of the session she told me that I needed more counselling (more sessions, more experienced person) than she or the practice in general could give. And that the only way I could get that would be to go private. :-(
So I've got a list of phone numbers for counselling services, good wishes and good luck from Imogen ... and no idea how I'm going to afford >=£35/week for something that I can't convince myself I really need. I think it might be helpful, but, well, a) it's never been that helpful in the past, and b) I haven't been having counselling for the past 3 years, and I haven't died, so it can't exactly be essential.
Of course, if I didn't spend money on stupid stuff like going to the pub and buying CDs and books (okay, and shoes, and swords) then I'd probably be able to afford it. ... Although then I'd feel like I ought to be paying that money into the mortgage/bills/house repairs etc. rather than paying somebody to teach me how to do stuff that by now I should be able to do anyway. <sigh>
The woman I saw was easy to talk to, laughed at my jokes, commented on the BiCon t-shirt I was wearing as a lead-in to some questions about why I was depressed at school, was totally unfazed by poly stuff, seemed to be asking helpful questions. "This might actually be useful," I thought to myself. Then at the end of the session she told me that I needed more counselling (more sessions, more experienced person) than she or the practice in general could give. And that the only way I could get that would be to go private. :-(
So I've got a list of phone numbers for counselling services, good wishes and good luck from Imogen ... and no idea how I'm going to afford >=£35/week for something that I can't convince myself I really need. I think it might be helpful, but, well, a) it's never been that helpful in the past, and b) I haven't been having counselling for the past 3 years, and I haven't died, so it can't exactly be essential.
Of course, if I didn't spend money on stupid stuff like going to the pub and buying CDs and books (okay, and shoes, and swords) then I'd probably be able to afford it. ... Although then I'd feel like I ought to be paying that money into the mortgage/bills/house repairs etc. rather than paying somebody to teach me how to do stuff that by now I should be able to do anyway. <sigh>
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Date: 2003-02-13 02:59 am (UTC)I'm on 16.75K, and almost half of that goes directly into the joint account as my contribution to mortgage, council tax, bills, etc.
I don't know what your expectations are, or experience with counsellors already (I'd none)
Saw a child psychiatrist when I was about 15. Saw various counsellors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. while at university. (Oh, and a brief chat with the "mental health nurse" during a brief stay in the hospital. That was entertaining.) Had counselling, CBT, and CAT. More and more I just started to feel like I was a character in a Beckett play, trapped in a giant urn, forced to tell and retell my life story in some kind of eternal narrative limbo. Or perhaps the Cumaean Sibyl, who was cursed with eternal life: