All good things...
Sep. 30th, 2004 01:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j4... must come to an end. So I find myself unfortunately back in the windswept flatlands now after a lovely holiday which I may write about at greater length some day. (Summary: company, food, scenery and weather all excellent.)
Will probably never catch up with LiveJournal, so if anything interesting's happened that I ought to know about, please let me know by email (or comment here).
Will probably never catch up with LiveJournal, so if anything interesting's happened that I ought to know about, please let me know by email (or comment here).
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-09-30 01:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:40 am (UTC)Oh, no, hang on, that was just a dream.
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Date: 2004-09-30 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:44 am (UTC)What, again?
Anyway. I have come to the conclusion that sex is vastly overrated and on the whole I prefer salads.
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Date: 2004-09-30 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:56 am (UTC)Look forward to a write-up of the holiday.
I found myself dreaming of the Côte d'Azur a lot recently.
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Date: 2004-09-30 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 03:20 am (UTC)- A
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Date: 2004-09-30 03:21 am (UTC)You're doing it wrong
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Date: 2004-09-30 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 04:44 am (UTC)Potted highlights? Cast lists and scenenic outline?
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Date: 2004-09-30 05:51 am (UTC)Wondered what would happen if I just never came back. Realised it would involve running out of money in very short order, so came back.
That's about it really.
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Date: 2004-09-30 05:58 am (UTC)Welcome back. I didn't want to come back from Nice either, but came to the same conclusion as you about money. And the fact that I can't speak much French and find it very difficult to learn languages would make living there difficult.
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Date: 2004-09-30 06:08 am (UTC)If the analogy holds, this translates as "My wife doesn't know how to make salad and I can't afford to hire a professional cook."
However, I will gladly come and visit you and bring you radishes and avocados. So long as I can share the avocados.
the fact that I can't speak much French and find it very difficult to learn languages
Ditto, but to be honest it didn't bother me overmuch. I got by when I needed to, and by and large I was happy to just be isolated from the vast majority of communications. I think I should become a hermit.
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Date: 2004-09-30 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 07:55 am (UTC)mm, yes
Date: 2004-09-30 09:01 am (UTC)Re: mm, yes
Date: 2004-09-30 09:15 am (UTC)In the meantime, it's off to read my Elizabeth David books...
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Date: 2004-09-30 09:44 am (UTC)Very wrong there.
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Date: 2004-09-30 10:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 10:08 am (UTC)Well BOG OFF THEN!
Just joshing you. I'm glad you're back on this island. You know lots of people are.
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Date: 2004-09-30 10:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 11:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-30 12:14 pm (UTC)Re: mm, yes
Date: 2004-09-30 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-01 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-01 01:37 am (UTC)Okay, I'll bog off. (She does not move.)
...
I know lots of people are glad I'm back. But part of me wishes that they wouldn't miss me, wishes that I could just walk away and never come back and that nobody would mind. That's what I was wishing. Wishing that people cared less. I don't want to hurt other people. But if I could be sure that nobody would mind too much I'd go.
It's only a part of me that wishes this. Mostly I'm glad people do care. But it would be so much easier sometimes if they didn't.
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Date: 2004-10-01 06:38 am (UTC)Well, I posted my new address. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hoiho/48903.html)
Dunno if that's interesting, bit it happened, and I'd like you to know about it, which is almost an "ought", isn't it?
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Date: 2004-10-01 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-01 08:38 am (UTC)I'd be surprised if anyone hadn't just wanted to walk away. I don't know how I can say this without sounding pretentious... sometimes I just feel that I'm going to end up hurting everyone I come into contact with, to a greater or lesser degree, and they deserve better; mostly I feel (with the exception of a very few) that I met someone briefly, to do /something/ to make their life better, and once that's done they can carry on without me and I want to just fade away. Hmm. That sounded arrogant. But I know it's held true in a couple of cases.
I've forgotten where I've read it, and it's irritating me now, but it's very simply, "you can't just run away". And I'm fairly sure that if I did just walk away, I'd end up with other, different people to care about, and for the most part, I'm perfectly happy with the ones I have now, and one of the things I enjoy most is just watching the people I care about be happy. So I suppose what I'd like is selective invisibility.
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Date: 2004-10-01 09:36 am (UTC)As happy as I am anywhere, I guess.
I miss you.
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Date: 2004-10-01 10:22 am (UTC)I'm no further away than I ever was.
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Date: 2004-10-01 02:57 pm (UTC)A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.