Oh, go on then...

[j4]

Fill in the blanks:

I ____ j4.
j4 is ____.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would _______.
I think j4 should _____.
j4 needs ______.
I want to ____________ j4.

I'd like to know who says what, but I don't really mind anonymous responses. Really I'd just like to see as many responses as possible, because it's moderately interesting and IT'S NOT ANOTHER BLOODY CLICKY-BOXEY AM-I-GOTH-OR-NOT QUIZ.

And I must say, actually, it'd be refreshing to see some honest-to-goodness dirty responses to this meme. Or is everybody too polite and too British to say things like "I want to fuck [whoever]", or "[whoever] needs a damn good seeing-to"?

Comments

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I miss j4.
j4 is bright, cute, and fun to be with.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would sit up conversing at least half the night, on shoes and ships and ceiling wax.
I think j4 should see me next time I am in the UK, or alternatively, come to Canada.
j4 needs hugs.
I want to administer a long and luxurious backrub to j4.

[ sorry, I know you wanted dirty, but I just don't know you in a way that makes me comfortable thinking of you that way... plus, you've not given me permission one-to-one, which puts some things past my consent squicks. ]

[j4.livejournal.com]

Hello there. I only realised you were on LJ yesterday, when glancing at sion_a's friends page...

[ sorry, I know you wanted dirty, but I just don't know you in a way that makes me comfortable thinking of you that way... plus, you've not given me permission one-to-one, which puts some things past my consent squicks. ]

I didn't require dirty answers from everybody, just thought it seemed statistically unlikely that everybody's only desires with reference to anybody else revolved more around fluff and light and starshine than around sticky bedroom antics. ;) I like your answers though. So ... when are you next in the UK? (The chances of me getting to Canada any time soon are only barely non-zero.)

[lnr]

*prod* hello you

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

I respect j4
j4 is a lot nicer than she thinks she is :)
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would give her a big hug
I think j4 should be happier and I wish I knew how to achieve that
j4 needs a new job, by all accounts
I want to visit j4

No dirt, because I don't do that. :-) You could feel free to get whatever you like from the big hug though...

[lnr]

I ♥ j4.
j4 is gorgeous and curvy.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would kiss, cuddle and probably fuck her.
I think j4 should be less harsh on herself, though I know it's easier said than done.
j4 needs a new job and a break.
I want to spend more time alone in a room with j4.

[j4.livejournal.com]

<big grin&rt; Thank you sweetheart. They're cool answers. :)

[(Anonymous)]

I am deeply fond of j4.
j4 is far more fabulous than she thinks.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would be sorely tempted to kiss her, and probably have to cease being alone with her in order to resist.
I think j4 should come and show off her car in the city of Expiring Dreams.
j4 needs more badgers! Everyone needs more badgers!
I want to be a fairy godmother for j4.

[j4.livejournal.com]

Hello Anonymous. If you are who I think you are, then you really must come to Cambridge and let me feed you dried apricots. :)

(If you're someone else, er, sorry, this won't make much sense!)

[kaet.livejournal.com]

I like j4.
j4 is envyable.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would smile.
I think j4 should not be so hard on herself, not dismiss her thoughts so much.
j4 needs people.
I want to know j4.

[chrisvenus]

I'm certainly too shy to say those sorts of things on a public forum. I might be tempted to via e-mail but certainly not on a forum that can be read by everybody and their dog. Sorry, darling.

Anyway, for proper responses:

I like j4.
j4 is a lot of things. Too many to easily list.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would do much as I would when not alone with her.
I think j4 should be less insecure.
j4 needs love, lots of money and pretty much what everybody else needs.
I want to see more of j4.

Sorry, no fucks, seeing-tos, shags or anything else along those lines. :)

[j4.livejournal.com]

I'm certainly too shy to say those sorts of things on a public forum. I might be tempted to via e-mail but certainly not on a forum that can be read by everybody and their dog. Sorry, darling.

's okay. Like I say, I wasn't really angling. Though if you want to send me dodgy emails then [looks helpless] I can't possibly stop you...

[davefish.livejournal.com]

I like j4.
j4 is the secret identity of the superhero Badgergirl.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would enthusiastically bounce around and hug her and tell her how fantastic she was.
I think j4 should help the badgers rule the universe.
j4 needs more badgers.
I want to see more of j4.

Badge 'er

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

I fear j4.
j4 is fear.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would fear.
I think j4 should fear.
j4 needs fear.
I want to fear j4.

Re: Badge 'er

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."

Not that I've read Dune, but I saw the quote on someone else's LJ last week and it didn't half look good.

I was also thinking about doing a set of gag answers like

"I want to guess there's a battleship on j4.
j4 is the square where I'm convinced there's an enemy cruiser.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would get out of the way of that great big bloody boat.
I think j4 should prepare to be identified along with j5 and j6.
j4 needs not to have been there really.
I still want to guess there's a battleship on j4."

...oh, I suppose I just have done.

[simonb.livejournal.com]

I like j4
j4 is a better person than she thinks she is.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would probably talk lots with her.
I think j4 should worry less.
j4 needs to find a new job.
I want to see a happier j4.

Try these!

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

I enjoy very much reading the LiveJournal and thinking about the life of j4.
j4 is the only person out of the four or five I've seen to do this meme/viral concept/thing to have the honesty to add the last paragraph, which really made me chuckle.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would let the situation (not just in the room but in the wider world at large) dictate what happened next and would be unlikely to tell any of you lot about it - my God, a comments page is about the worst place imaginable to be saying any of these things. Certainly I would be very interested in learning more about many of her listed interests.
I think j4 should realise just how much how many different people like her and hopefully take it as a compliment.
j4 needs inspiration, but no more than I do.
I want to feel more able than I think I am to give as hopefully useful responses for everyone else who has done this as I have done for j4.

Re: Try these!

[j4.livejournal.com]

I do like your serious answers as well. And yes, they are useful, and interesting.

If I were alone in a room with j4, I would let the situation (not just in the room but in the wider world at large) dictate what happened next and would be unlikely to tell any of you lot about it - my God, a comments page is about the worst place imaginable to be saying any of these things. Certainly I would be very interested in learning more about many of her listed interests.

Heh. Now I'm wondering which of my listed interests...

[ex-lark-asc.livejournal.com]

I like j4.
j4 is always full of surprises and interesting opinions.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would have long and interesting conversations, and get annoyed with myself for staring down her cleavage.
I think j4 should keep trying to find a therapist.
j4 needs to believe she's worth fixing.
I want to find a useful way to help j4.

[j4.livejournal.com]

I think j4 should keep trying to find a therapist.
j4 needs to believe she's worth fixing.

It's not so much that I don't believe I'm worth fixing, as that I am really very far from convinced that seeing a therapist is the way to fix me, and as such I'm reluctant to throw what is (to me) a noticeable amount of money into a "solution" that may (based on past experience) either do nothing, or actively make things worse. If it helped, then yes, it would be an investment; if it didn't, it would be worse than throwing money away on trivialities, because at least the trivialities make me happy at the time.

But I think we've done this... :-/

[saraphale.livejournal.com]

I always see a beaming j4.
j4 is all the way over there.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would probably not know what to say.
I think j4 should teach me what she knows about swords.
j4 needs shiny gadgets.
I want to think of better comments for j4.

[reddragdiva]

like
l33t
offer her a pint and talk rubbish
a pint or two
share many pints and much rubbish-talking with

[songster.livejournal.com]

I don't really know j4.
j4 is vaguely interesting in a spying-on-this-person-I-know-from-newsgroups way.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would wonder how the hell that happened.
I think j4 should totally ignore my answers, for obvious reasons</>.
j4 needs... er, a cup of tea? Usually a safe option, anyway.
I want to win a huge amount of money. If asked nicely enough, I might even give some to j4.

[j4.livejournal.com]

j4 is vaguely interesting in a spying-on-this-person-I-know-from-newsgroups way

Ah, hello, so that's who you are. :)

If I were alone in a room with j4, I would wonder how the hell that happened.

Rest of cam.misc being slow to turn up to a meet in the nice quiet upstairs bit of the Castle?

j4 needs... er, a cup of tea? Usually a safe option, anyway.

Right now I think I need something a little stronger, but tea is good anyway.

I want to win a huge amount of money. If asked nicely enough, I might even give some to j4.

Like it. If you win the lottery, I'll bear this in mind!

[beingjdc.livejournal.com]

I have probably never really understood j4.
j4 is well-meaning.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would invite some friends before I accidentally reduced her to tears.
I think j4 should take me less seriously.
j4 needs to be the first badger in space.
I want to have enough spare time to visit j4.

[emperor]

I like j4.
j4 is a little car-obsessed right now :).
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would probably be very shy.
I think j4 should get badger-stripes on her car.
j4 needs her car fixing :-).
I want to hug j4.

[daneel-olivaw.livejournal.com]

I miss j4.
j4 is far more important to me than I can adequately express.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would tie her up and shag her.
I think j4 should realise how special she is. [And no, not as in "special".]
j4 needs more hugs.
I want to always know j4.

[ottah.livejournal.com]

I am curious about j4.
j4 is a whirly, swirly vision.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would open a bottle and chat.
I think j4 should change jobs.
j4 needs time for herself and to relax.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

I like and fancy j4.

j4 is really rather cute.

If I were alone in a room with j4, I would behave myself because i'm a
civilised person, but quite possibly wish that "misbehaviour" would
occur.

I think j4 should be given tasty chocolate and hot sex in proportions
to taste by gorgeous MOTASes.

j4 needs self-esteem and hugs.

I want to snuggle warmly up to j4.

[truecatachresis.livejournal.com]

I miss j4
j4 is fun and interesting
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would talk nonsense with her like I used to.
I think j4 should have fun.
j4 needs badgers.
I want to talk once more with j4.

[j4.livejournal.com]

I want to talk once more with j4.

Awww. So talk! Come and visit! Email me! Ring me up and make badger-noises down the phone! ... Actually, don't do that last one, I'd probably think it was a dirty phone-call. :-}

I was about to say "What are you up to these days?" but then realised I could go back and read your LJ right back to the beginning. Muahahahaha. ALL YOUR LIFE ARE BELONG TO US.

Ah fuck it.

[wildeabandon.livejournal.com]

I really don't know anything about j4.
j4 is a lot more fun in real life than she is online.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would be very surprised, but then she'd run away and talk to someone else.
I think j4 should learn to be more aware of how different people(including herself) are online.
j4 needs confidence.
I want to find out where the awkwardness stems from between myself and j4.

Re: Ah fuck it.

[sesquipedality.livejournal.com]

Frankly it's not too difficult to see where at least some of the awkwardness could be stemming from.

[wintrmute.livejournal.com]

i replaced 'j4' with 'everyone' and it promptly started to read like a nin lyric sheet.
oops ;)

[(Anonymous)]

I fancy (*shudders* horrible word, but...) j4.
j4 is really rather sexy.
If I were alone in a room with j4, I would offer her something sharp.
I think j4 should have more confidence in her dreams.
j4 needs more sharp pointy things.
I want to talk more to j4.